Being 18, and going to college is depressing

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Joined: 12 Apr 2014
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06 May 2014, 3:15 am

To start off the rest of my life being 18. I sure did got the biggest reality check when I got to college.
Man, I thought high school was unbearable, but, Junior college just sends my mind into a sink of
depression after a while. Not having NO one to talk to for months. Around the winter semester, I was eating inside of my car because I couldn't take seeing other NT's who have friends or acquaintances by their side. talking, laughing, interacting! It sucked so much. And its all thanks to disability holding me of maintaining a conversation. I CAN'T DO SMALL TALK. Not only I feel like I'm boring to talk to, but, I just Can't do small talk. I CAN'T SPEAK! Because of this issue, my self confidence destroyed. Sometimes I think if I should not talk at all. Just be done with verbal interaction as a whole.

thatsrobrageous
Deinonychus

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06 May 2014, 7:27 am

When you're going to college, keep in mind that you are there for further education and you will end up with a college degree. It is nice to have a social life but sometimes that does not go as planned. I have a hard time making good friends because many of mine have come and go, some days I would feel inadequate in my college classes or even at work. You always have yourself and I learned that philosophy. I have to make myself happy before others. Also, your disability don't define you, you can deine you. Are there any autism groups or clubs you're interested in at college? It makes leeway to make new friends Hope this reply helped.

thatsrobrageous
Deinonychus

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06 May 2014, 7:28 am

you can define you* oops, I made a mistake. Also, what's your major at college?

kraftiekortie
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06 May 2014, 7:44 am

The best ways to make friend in college is to participate in group projects assigned by professors. (Hopefully), the groups' participants have a common goal in mind: a decent grade. A decent grade requires human interaction in these cases.

Another way is to join a club which specializes in your "special interest." I'm sure there are video game clubs, for example, in your college.

Girlwithaspergers
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06 May 2014, 8:13 am

I am currently trying to figure out if I should go to CC. My parents already said no to 4-year and didn't pay a deposit. I feel pretty awful and I wonder if I should just choose another option.

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zer0netgain
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06 May 2014, 8:47 am

thatsrobrageous wrote:

I'd like to correct that just to deal with reality.

Yes, you are there to get an education, but the sad truth is that it's the social connections you form that will determine if you get a job when you graduate. So, focusing more on the social life is actually equally (if not more) important.

Had I known that, I wouldn't have gone to college or I would have handled things with different priorities.

timf
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06 May 2014, 9:00 am

Quote:

I CAN'T DO SMALL TALK. Not only I feel like I'm boring to talk to, but, I just Can't do small talk. I CAN'T SPEAK!

You might want to consider Toastmasters. Most people join because they have difficulty in public speaking, but it might also be useful for helping with speaking in general.

Moostar
Snowy Owl

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06 May 2014, 9:38 am

thatsrobrageous wrote:

When you're going to college, keep in mind that you are there for further education and you will end up with a college degree. It is nice to have a social life but sometimes that does not go as planned. I have a hard time making good friends because many of mine have come and go, some days I would feel inadequate in my college classes or even at work. You always have yourself and I learned that philosophy. I have to make myself happy before others. Also, your disability don't define you, you can define you. Are there any autism groups or clubs you're interested in at college? It makes leeway to make new friends

Hope this reply helped.

I didn't have the time to go into groups because I was busy taking up my classes, and had a lot of work that I had to study over. I have
plans of focusing on getting a AA in computer science once all of my other choices are completed. when I wrote this It was all in anger. My mistake in communication is one of those obstacle thats hard to overcome. :roll:

Moostar
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06 May 2014, 9:41 am

timf wrote:

Quote:

I CAN'T DO SMALL TALK. Not only I feel like I'm boring to talk to, but, I just Can't do small talk. I CAN'T SPEAK!

You might want to consider Toastmasters. Most people join because they have difficulty in public speaking, but it might also be useful for helping with speaking in general.

Ah, I have that in my area luckily. I'll give it a shot when I can.

Moostar
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06 May 2014, 9:48 am

zer0netgain wrote:

thatsrobrageous wrote:

Man, if thats the case,Whats the point of pursuing an education if at the end of the day the only that matters is how sociable you are? Its just a shame that if I ever want to get a job most likely, it'll be based on my ability on how one can communicate instead of their own individual skill. I just find that weird.

Moostar
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06 May 2014, 10:01 am

Girlwithaspergers wrote:

I am currently trying to figure out if I should go to CC. My parents already said no to 4-year and didn't pay a deposit. I feel pretty awful and I wonder if I should just choose another option.

Community college is quicker to get in, and out of if you just want to get into the workforce quicker, or, if you need extra points so that you can get a transfer into a university. Have you talked over your parents about why they're not letting you in the 4-year college in detail? cause I can relate to how my parents want to force me into classes I just can't balance out. That one class is math. I had to drop it because I'm better off with a with draw than an F on my transcript. My parents, my dad especially, were disappointed, and I ended up feeling pretty awful.

Girlwithaspergers
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06 May 2014, 12:55 pm

I sort of had a mental breakdown.

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zer0netgain
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06 May 2014, 1:38 pm

Moostar wrote:

Just be glad there are people here that will tell you this dirty truth BEFORE you've wasted years of your life and tens of thousands on student loan debt to find out, "WOW! I should have spent more time at the keggers than studying every night to get As!"

The kids who get As and get good jobs (odds are) happen to already have social skills AND were working on networking while earning those grades.

Moostar
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06 May 2014, 3:26 pm

zer0netgain wrote:

Moostar wrote:

Well, thats pretty nifty.

Moostar
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06 May 2014, 3:34 pm

Girlwithaspergers wrote:

I sort of had a mental breakdown.

I was completely overwhelm with pressure, and anxiety around the first night from being back from college. My mind had a million events going on to the point where I shortly burst out at midnight yelling in anger, and frustration knowing that I my mother, and sisters where asleep anyway. I was in such a emotional mess that I had to call my father to ease out the pain.

kraftiekortie
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06 May 2014, 5:55 pm

Girlwithaspergers: Community College, once you get into a 4 year school, is just like the first 2 years of the 4 year school. It really is.

My nephew got kicked out of a 4 year college, went to a community college, and is now back at a 4 year college. He will graduate when he's 23--not too bad, all in all.

I know somebody else who had a mental breakdown at age 18, got treated, re-started college, and graduated with honors.

All is definitely not lost; you're young.

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