Why aren't NTs ashamed or mortified like we are?

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I understand there is a neurological difference between NTs and Aspies but I really don't understand the following. When NTs are not emotionally distraught they can be rational in their line of thinking and I am greatly perplexed (and I'll admit angered) when they say, "I don't care if it doesn't make sense (or is illogical), that's just the way I feel." Now personally I am mortified at the idea that I would express an emotion to someone that didn't make sense, let alone do something based on this emotion and just expect the world around me to understand and deal with it. I mean I get chills just writing about it. But NTs just think this is a justifiable way to be.

Now I understand because they're wired the way they are they can experience and even act upon irrational emotions but I just don't get the expectation that that's ok. Why aren't they ashamed of the fact that they do that and don't rely upon the people around them (especially the people that have to deal with their emotional antics) who are still calm and collected to guide them through their issue. Like I said I get that the occurrence may not be within their control, I'm just trying to understand why they as a group do not view this as a weakness instead of something they are entitled to?

I'd attribute this attitude to intimidation and pride. People--not just NT's--are generally wired to regard things they don't understand or grasp as a threat, and, when people feel threatened, they'll typically respond by defending or outright attacking.

"Bobby is sooo smart, he can get perfect scores on all his tests with no studying at all!"

"Yeah, well, I have, uhh...SPIRIT! Yeah, I have SPIRIT! And friends! I'll bet Bobby doesn't have those things! Boy, he must be sad and lonely..."

Regardless of whether or not these assumptions about Bobby were true, it's a motif that comes up all too often in movies and TV. Science goes too far again, and it's up to the friendly, compassionate protagonist to prove to the world that emotion-driven people are better people, and that the scientist just doesn't get this. In truth, it's usually the other way around: the "smart people" just want to learn more about the world around them, and everyone else, not wanting to feel stupid, will claim that they somehow hold the moral high ground. It's all about pride and intimidation.

Wow, Bomir, that's a complicated issue! For what it's worth, I'm an NT.

I think that if you're just talking about an opinion that an NT might have, that when they say "I don't care what other people think of me" they/we/I might really mean that "I WISH I didn't care," or I'm ANGRY at people who might judge me harshly" or "I'm trying to remind myself to be strong and confident," or they might actually mean exactly what they said. Perhaps the other person's opinion or judgment just doesn't matter or the NT thinks that if it bothers someone else, that's the other person's problem. Some people recognize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that it's natural to have strong feelings about them sometimes. (I am assuming that whatever the feeling or opinion is, you're saying it might not be looked upon as something "normal" or acceptable, or it might be controversial.)

If you're talking about an emotional outburst, it's kind of the same, but it probably depends on who is involved or who saw what happened. I've been in situations where I cried in public or got really angry at someone and wished (right then or afterwards) that I hadn't lost control. I don't like to look irrational, wimpy, or crazy and I don't like making other people feel awkward, helpless, or bad about themselves or me. At those times, I can be really, really embarrassed or ashamed and have to try to forget it or remind myself that I'm only human and that holding feelings in too much can be unhealthy.

BUT there are times when expressing myself helps me understand how much I care about something or helps other people around me understand me better. I think that's true of a lot of people, and in a way, it can actually be a good thing, especially if the people involved decide to change things for the better.

For some NTs who live in--or grew up in--a place where people yell and cry a lot, then they truly might not care if other people see them as out of control, because to them, it's normal and/or they can ignore it. Some NTs act out on purpose, maybe to scare somebody into doing what the NT wants, maybe to get attention or help, or maybe to get revenge--as in "I don't like something that YOU did, so I'm going to make you feel uncomfortable, sad, or ashamed! If you don't like it, that's fine with me because I'm having the effect I wanted." I don't think that's acceptable or healthy behavior.

As far as thinking that acting or feeling irrational is okay, it depends--if you're with compassionate friends who can help you, then telling them how angry, sad, or frustrated you are might actually be a good thing to do because it probably means that you trust them and you have confidence in them. You might have the chance to grow closer emotionally because you can really be yourself and they have the chance to show how much they love you in return. On the other hand, if you're with strangers or people who depend on you to behave yourself, then I don't think you are entitled to let yourself go wild and make a scene--or even scare or hurt someone. In those cases, a lot of NTs would agree that it's rude, immature, and irresponsible.

Please forgive me if I've gone on too long.

I've seen many mortified NTs. Mortification (i.e., embarrassment) is especially common during the teenage years.

Really, in many ways, Aspies (and Auties) have commonality with NTs.

I just think they're full of themselves and can't admit when they are wrong. When challenged with explaining their own ideas and actions, they often realize that they are faulty and are nothing but the results of them mimicking other people their whole life.
Most are idiots, but others that have high IQs have these stupid sides that come out during a variety of situations. My dad and sister are prime examples of NTs with high IQs with extremely stupid sides. And some of the stuff they say is garbage. Kind of like the stuff politicians say ( my sister is a lawyer). Hot air aimed at projecting a broad, yet specific opinion that lacks detail and cold never be applied to any.specific real life situation.

I often feel emotions without knowing exactly why I'm feeling them. I don't know if this is the same thing as what you're describing, but I've definitely experienced it. I would love to have complete, rational control over my emotions.

[quote="Bomir"]I understand there is a neurological difference between NTs and Aspies but I really don't understand the following. When NTs are not emotionally distraught they can be rational in their line of thinking and I am greatly perplexed (and I'll admit angered) when they say, "I don't care if it doesn't make sense (or is illogical), that's just the way I feel." I mean I get chills just writing about it. But NTs just think this is a justifiable way to be.
Now personally I am mortified at the idea that I would express an emotion to someone that didn't make sense, let alone do something based on this emotion and just expect the world around me to understand and deal with it. /quote]

That is what killed me musically and artistically for years: This obligation to be logical and always be able to account for every note or stroke, you make. Irrationality has to be allowed here and there. Irrationality is the nature of emotional expression.

NT's do get mortified and embarrassed.....a lot.

Some of them also have bad tempers

Some of them don't make sense at least part of the time.

Aspies do succumb to the irrational, at times.