How to talk in a normal way

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I've noticed when I talk, especially when I'm more nervous, I sound more..."autistic". More of my traits come out. One of these traits is having this weird rhythm. I will talk very fast, then all of the sudden stop, then 10 seconds later, start alternating between slow and normal speeds. I also will use large words, but then have trouble pronouncing them. Inside of my head, I tend to be very eloquent. I also get more formal the more nervous I get. Finally, I will end up replacing words with others that don't make sense. It's almost like how people with schizophrenia have that "word salad" type of talking, but inside of my head, it's completely different.

Also, for some reason, I tend to sound like I'm lecturing when I'm verbal. I don't know if this is the reason people say I sound "arrogant". I don't recognize my tone of voice being that different, but I'm beginning to think it is. I guess I have a lack of body language and facial expression, also. This could lead to some people thinking I'm angry or scolding them, when my intentions are pleasant.

I do know how I kind of learned to talk. My mother read me her anatomy books when I was a little girl, and I had a fascination with large words. I started copying how she talked when on the phone with her "work". She was a head RN, and then became a QA manager for a nursing home. She kind of sounds like she is lecturing, I suppose. I guess you could say it sounds like I'm reading from a script without any emotion.

Now, I used to be able to copy other people. I would mimic their tone, phrases, accents, and their overall speech. I don't know what happened. I think I'm trying to be more of "myself", but it also seems like I've lost the ability to do that!

How do I fix these problems? Also, what if people don't believe me when I say I'm not arrogant? I say it's not my intention, yet people STILL accuse me of arrogance.

Note: I'm starting to notice this when I'm writing, too. I'm still coherent, but it seems more "jumbled" lately. I don't seem to be dissociating or anything, so what could be causing this?

I would have to talk to you in person to understand but from what I sense, you are trying to find what is the best way to communicate how you feel and what you are thinking. I see you have a way of making yourself more comfortable around people by using" formal language" I do it in the form of "humor" and "inappropriate sayings" so I know it can be hard to communicate with certain people. Also, if you communicate how you want to communicate, you should not have to please other people first instead of yourself. But then we always communicate differently with different people so its technically impossible to have equilibrium of "what I want" and "what they want" I have been called arrogant before too. I use arrogance sometimes to "help" my feelings of inadequacy.

I have the almost the same problem. I usually pause for very long periods of time because I am trying to think of the perfect word or sentence to say.
I tend to rant about one of my interests, which is great if the other party has the same interest.
Most of the time though the other person gets bored of talking with me.
I have not been called arrogant (to my face), but I have been called a human wikipedia.

Thanks for the advice. I just met my new therapist yesterday. I mentioned the way I talk being one of my problems I want to work on. She explained that yes, it's possible I can get help with that. I guess my main problem isn't so much sounding too formal, it's not being concise. So, essentially, she said I already know when I need to do that, I just have trouble doing it.

In other words, we need to find a way to guard my floodgate of thoughts, instead of being "out to lunch". She mentioned that it seems to be a reaction to my anxiety, which makes complete sense.

Also, I totally understand what you guys mean. On the one hand, I REALLY feel like I should be able to be myself. On the other, I want to try and please people, which is probably impossible to a certain degree (at least pleasing everyone).

Suhtek, that's funny they called you the "human Wikipedia". It's almost an insult, because anyone can edit it. I would prefer "human encyclopedia."

My verbal presentation is similar to yours, 12345--even down to not being to pronounce "large" words properly, even though I'm eloquent in my mind.