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Pitabread123
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13 May 2014, 9:50 am

I swear that my life is taken straight out of those socially awkward penguin memes, and especially this one http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3rvkxl/. I've been trying to be more socially normal ever since I realized I wasn't, but this has only gotten me to the point where I'm like some half-assed version of a regular person. It's almost like I've entered the uncanny valley of aspie vs NT. Alright WP, what should I do now, should I just stop really trying to conform, or should just I step up my efforts?



kraftiekortie
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13 May 2014, 9:59 am

I would do anything I can to earn a living independently.

Otherwise, I wouldn't seek to "change" myself, unless it causes me to evolve in some way. Or enables me to have a relationship with the girl of my dreams.

"Normal," is a very subjective term.



1401b
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13 May 2014, 5:12 pm

Ok, you asked! =)

I'd suggest you try to figure out why NTs behave and communicate the way that they do.
How can one possibly expect to accomplish something if they don't know why it's being done?

The book A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior was/is a life turning source of information for myself.

One of the biggest reasons humans fear nearly everything we fear, is because we think we don't know how to handle the problem successfully.
(usually we're right, but sometimes it's just nerves)

This is especially true for us ASD vs Social Thingys, with the added "benefit" of having been painfully, repeatedly, "taught" by life of just how thoroughly we don't know how to successfully (and safely) navigate, incredibly hostile, required, interactions with killers. (meaning simply-other people, humans are killers)

A lot of fear goes bye-bye when one feels they know pretty much exactly what to do in a situation regardless of how it flexes.


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Pitabread123
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14 May 2014, 2:18 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would do anything I can to earn a living independently.

Otherwise, I wouldn't seek to "change" myself, unless it causes me to evolve in some way. Or enables me to have a relationship with the girl of my dreams.

"Normal," is a very subjective term.


Yeah I probably should've used a better description than "normal" given how cliched it is. Basically, I want to be at least respected by people around me. I've always thought that a lot of people (not everyone though!), have always thought I was sort of a freak or outcast, and felt like I've never had a meaningful connection to anyone but a select few people. At the same time I do realize that respect is something that starts with yourself, and you have to respect yourself for others to do so back.

Oh yeah and it's always about girls haha. Why would you think that the "girl of your dreams" would be the one you wanted to spend your life with if you had to change yourself to be with her? I mean come on that's literally a dream right there.

1401b wrote:
Ok, you asked! =)

I'd suggest you try to figure out why NTs behave and communicate the way that they do.
How can one possibly expect to accomplish something if they don't know why it's being done?

The book A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior was/is a life turning source of information for myself.


I've read a number of these books, and I've always thought the advice was always somewhat common sense and the books were designed for people with more severe social impairment than I have. Some of these works I'm citing include Socially Curious and Curiously Social, Look me in the Eye, and other titles I can't recount off the top of my head. That being said, thanks for the suggestion and I'll have to take a look at it.