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Would it be weird to contact an old schoolmate?

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Chernobyl
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21 May 2014, 11:04 pm

I don't know why but recently I've been thinking of my middle school days and these twin girls keep coming to my mind. The entire time I always wanted to meet them cause I thought they were cool but I was too shy and they were popular so it was even harder. Now I strangely have a strong urge to finally start talking to them but I'm wondering if it would creep them out. They hardly knew I even existed and the only time I ever contacted one of them was a 30 second conversation. We also talked online earlier but I screwed up on something and I was pretty sure I confused her and creeped her out. What would they think if I tried to talk to them? I feel like a stalker since I remember the school and I'm just a stranger to them. I also have trouble becoming friends with the popular kids since they generally already have close friends and it takes years to get in that circle.



desertnomad
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21 May 2014, 11:46 pm

Don't do it lol. They will think you are a creeper. It would be one thing if you were friends with them back in the day but obviously you weren't.



equestriatola
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21 May 2014, 11:51 pm

When I reconnected with my grade school friends on facebook, they were more happy to talk to me again. :) It depends.


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desertnomad
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22 May 2014, 12:14 am

equestriatola wrote:
When I reconnected with my grade school "friends" on facebook, they were more happy to talk to me again. :) It depends.


These girls were not your friends. Do not expect them to be happy to talk to you.



equestriatola
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22 May 2014, 12:25 am

@desertnomad: That's not true. They were my friends, and they even have given me some encouragement yesterday. Don't be negative, please.


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desertnomad
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22 May 2014, 1:52 am

I was talking to OP not you. I was using your post as an example because the people you messaged were friends and that is why they were happy they contacted you. OP wants to contact some random girls he once had a 30 second conversation with.



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22 May 2014, 2:36 am

I've actually contacted people I wanted to be friends with in high school and never was on FB. People I didn't speak two words to. I'm 50 now and some of them are 53 or 54 even. I said something like "Hi, I don't know if you remember me but we went to school together. I always wanted to be friends with you back then because you seemed so cool, but I was too shy to say anything. I just wanted to tell you that now, because hearing something like that can really brighten your day." I did that with about five people. Most were very happy to hear it and we sometimes chat on FB. One of them has become good friends with me and actually poured her heart out to me recently about a problem she was having.

I've found that most people are much more approachable and nicer as we get older. The playing field is leveled so to speak, now.

Depending on your age and how long ago it was since you were in school, I'd say do it. It's always nice to hear that someone thought you were cool. Don't see it as starting a friendship with them, see it as just letting them know that you thought they were cool because it's a nice thing to hear. That opens the door if they want to contact you again.

Do not do this unless you are at least 30.


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JakeDay
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22 May 2014, 2:57 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
I've actually contacted people I wanted to be friends with in high school and never was on FB. People I didn't speak two words to. I'm 50 now and some of them are 53 or 54 even. I said something like "Hi, I don't know if you remember me but we went to school together. I always wanted to be friends with you back then because you seemed so cool, but I was too shy to say anything. I just wanted to tell you that now, because hearing something like that can really brighten your day." I did that with about five people. Most were very happy to hear it and we sometimes chat on FB. One of them has become good friends with me and actually poured her heart out to me recently about a problem she was having.

I've found that most people are much more approachable and nicer as we get older. The playing field is leveled so to speak, now.

Depending on your age and how long ago it was since you were in school, I'd say do it. It's always nice to hear that someone thought you were cool. Don't see it as starting a friendship with them, see it as just letting them know that you thought they were cool because it's a nice thing to hear. That opens the door if they want to contact you again.

Do not do this unless you are at least 30.


^^This is all good advice...

I have also been reconnecting with old friends, mainly from art school, but also the occasional high school buddy. Most of my high school peers were jerks in my opinion, so why contact them? But a few people I missed, and it turns out they were happy to hear from me, interested to learn about what I struggle with as an autistic, and generally well received. I think it is worthwhile to say hi to those people you've lost contact with, provided that you have good feelings about them.



Chernobyl
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22 May 2014, 3:11 pm

desertnomad wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
When I reconnected with my grade school "friends" on facebook, they were more happy to talk to me again. :) It depends.


These girls were not your friends. Do not expect them to be happy to talk to you.


Yeah I never said I expected them to be happy to talk, all I want to do is attempt to finally meet them. I don't even care if she rejects me, I will feel really good just overcoming the difficulty in trying. Even though I'm a stranger to her, I thought it'd be less awkward to mention that we went to the same school. I just don't know how to word it though. Should I act surprised like "Wow I remember you from middle school!"? I feel that would be the least creepy way to start talking to her but I think it would also imply that we knew each other back then.



desertnomad
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22 May 2014, 11:54 pm

Don't make up some crap that will only seem more creepy. If you are really going to do it just be real and say you knew them in school and always thought they were cool and know you want to get to know them or something like that.