I don't have any friends, because I think I give off a bad vibe. People have always excluded me. I've had friendships start off (with other outsiders), but even they eventually reject me. As I type this, I can't help but think that people will assume that I must be pushing people away or am stubborn. People can't seem to believe how undesirable people find me, that explaining this has the effect of people thinking that I somehow WANT to be this way.
I've had the beginnings of friendship but then people fade away or back off suddenly. People are flaky and unreliable - I get the distinct feeling that there is something about me that they don't trust.
If I've been burned too many times and carry this vibe (that I will always be rejected), I try to make sure people don't see it. I'm friendly and begin each new encounter with people with a fresh slate, so to speak.
What I would like to know is how can I get support for this difficulty without giving off the impression that I've completely brought this problem upon myself, that I don't want friendships?
This is so very hard to explain, so if someone understands what I mean here, I'd really appreciate your feedback.
The help I seek is from therapists or anyone who will understand and believe the situation I'm in...