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morslilleole
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07 Jul 2014, 10:16 am

I have noticed that often when I have a conversation through some kind of messaging system like emails or private messages, that people stop replying me after a while.

I have no idea why this occurs. Do I say something wrong? Am I too boring? Am I giving the impression that I don't want to keep the conversation going? Or is it something that "just happens"? Anyone have the same issue?


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07 Jul 2014, 10:31 am

Do you mean that you feel the conversation hasn't reached a cut-off point? I often feel that way. at times. But I've come to understand that it might just be the fact that I don't have a lot of conversations with people, these days; and once I get one going, I never want it to end.


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morslilleole
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07 Jul 2014, 10:37 am

VegetableMan wrote:
Do you mean that you feel the conversation hasn't reached a cut-off point? I often feel that way. at times. But I've come to understand that it might just be the fact that I don't have a lot of conversations with people, these days; and once I get one going, I never want it to end.


Yeah, I sent messages wanting to keep the conversation going, but don't get a reply. But I do think you're right that I want to keep the conversations going since I don't have a lot of conversations.


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Kiprobalhato
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07 Jul 2014, 1:55 pm

this has happened to me too many times, after scrutinizing why people stop replying to messages i send, sometimes i find that the last message i sent was not possible to reply to because, either the person couldn't relate, or form an opinion on the matter. i find people stop replying when i send fact-like messages too much, but at the other end of the spectrum they also stop when i send too many questions, when the conversation seems to turn into a interrogatory. what i do it try to find a middle ground between facts/questions and staying on one subject too long and changing them often

of course it depends on the person you're messaging too... :roll:


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morslilleole
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07 Jul 2014, 2:00 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
this has happened to me too many times, after scrutinizing why people stop replying to messages i send, sometimes i find that the last message i sent was not possible to reply to because, either the person couldn't relate, or form an opinion on the matter.


Yeah, this I can understand. Sometimes a conversation just stops.

Kiprobalhato wrote:
i find people stop replying when i send fact-like messages too much, but at the other end of the spectrum they also stop when i send too many questions, when the conversation seems to turn into a interrogatory. what i do it try to find a middle ground between facts/questions and staying on one subject too long and changing them often

Yeah, I try this too. But I guess I sometimes add questions just because the conversation has stalled.

Kiprobalhato wrote:
of course it depends on the person you're messaging too... :roll:

Yeah, can't apply the same tactic to everyone. =/


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Vertex
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15 Jul 2014, 10:58 pm

morslilleole wrote:
I have noticed that often when I have a conversation through some kind of messaging system like emails or private messages, that people stop replying me after a while.

I have no idea why this occurs. Do I say something wrong? Am I too boring? Am I giving the impression that I don't want to keep the conversation going? Or is it something that "just happens"? Anyone have the same issue?


Happens to me sometimes, so you're not alone in that.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Jul 2014, 6:53 am

It could be that the conversation runs its course---or that person's computer connection has been lost--or he/she has something better to do than "speak" on message boards.



namaste
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18 Jul 2014, 2:23 am

im was on whatsapp group and the conversations i noticed were non stop and senseless
i couldnt be part of such senseless conversation
it would range till midnight
they would scribble stories
one person would say there is a wolf
other one would reply what is name of wolf
third one would say some funny name
and it went on and on

i was too scared to participate
and would just observe
it was fun but due to my anxiety of making social mistakes
i would keep quiet


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morslilleole
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18 Jul 2014, 2:45 am

namaste wrote:
im was on whatsapp group and the conversations i noticed were non stop and senseless
i couldnt be part of such senseless conversation
it would range till midnight
they would scribble stories
one person would say there is a wolf
other one would reply what is name of wolf
third one would say some funny name
and it went on and on

i was too scared to participate
and would just observe
it was fun but due to my anxiety of making social mistakes
i would keep quiet

Yeah, I can understand that... I would do the same in some circumstances. But in these situations, the best you can do is to try and participate. Nothing bad would happen, and you would be one step closer to overcoming your fear.

kraftiekortie wrote:
It could be that the conversation runs its course---or that person's computer connection has been lost--or he/she has something better to do than "speak" on message boards.

That could be... But when there is a one on one conversation, the other person could just reply in a few days or so.

I think I just need to not try so hard to keep the conversation going.


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Kiprobalhato
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18 Jul 2014, 1:20 pm

there are situations when i prefer face to face conversations, despite how uneasy it can be.
i mean, what are they gonna do, run away? :roll:
...maybe.


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morslilleole
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18 Jul 2014, 1:46 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
there are situations when i prefer face to face conversations, despite how uneasy it can be.
i mean, what are they gonna do, run away? :roll:
...maybe.

I seriously hope my replies are that boring :lol:


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i_wanna_blue
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18 Jul 2014, 4:25 pm

I've faced this situation quite a few times, and honestly I have no answer as to why people stop communicating. I always think that I did something wrong, but to be honest, I don't think I did. I think it's just a consequence of online communication, since unlike real life interaction there's no real cut off point. In real life, factors like time and interruptions and other responsibilities will cut a conversation short. Online though. there isn't that degree of finality. Sometimes a conversation has reached it's peak, and the best way for a person to move on, is just to say nothing. They can't really say "hey, is that the time?" and leave. I think that's where the confusion happens where one person feels the time is up, for whatever reason, and the other doesn't, so you have this uncertainty over why they stop replying.

A lot of the time though, it's just because things change in a persons life, so it's easier to walk away from a conversation by saying nothing than to try and explain your way out of it. I wouldn't take it personally since it happens a lot and you can't get an idea of how the person feels when you're talking to them online. Normally if a person is annoyed by you talking to them, you can pick this up and stop saying anything else. But online there isn't this degree of explicitness of emotions, so again it can give rise to uncertainty. But know that a lot of the time getting the cold shoulder doesn't mean that the person despises you or anything like that. It's just the way communication runs, since it must end somewhere.