Why does she keep looking at me for so long?

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coolstertothecore
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11 May 2007, 12:37 pm

I'm confused.

I'm training to be a teacher and my mentor has the most bizarre non-verbal communication and I have no idea how to act around her. For example, today she was telling me what the objectives for the lesson would be. She finished her sentence and I said "Okay", and she kept looking at me as if I should be saying something else. She just kept looking and looking and I felt incredibly uncomfortable. I'm sure there was nothing else that I could have said.

What the hell am I supposed to do when she keeps looking at me? I try to keep eye contact but I can't last longer than one or two seconds before I start squirming. She always looks at me like she hates me too. I'm starting to dread seeing her because I just can't talk to the woman. We have nothing in common and whenever I say something light-hearted she never smiles or laughs.

Has anyone else known a "starer" like her and how did you deal with them?



Age1600
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11 May 2007, 12:46 pm

I get ppl like that, my brothers friends do that to me. I just look away like something just caught my eye. Or if their really weird like staring, I'll just look down at like my cell phone or I'll compliment something their wearing to totally change the conversation for a sec, so it won't be so uncomfortable. I had that happen to me yesterday. He was staring at me big time, like I was suppose to reply with an answer and I just looked away like I saw a bug flying by or something and looked back and saw him still doing it so I looked at his watch and said nice watch, and he smiled and was like thanks and looked the other way. So it does help.



coolstertothecore
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11 May 2007, 1:04 pm

I've tried changing the subject but then she asked like I haven't said anything at all, and then it gets worse!

It's so bizarre because if I'm looking at someone and they look back, my first reaction is to look away.

There's a kid in my class who physically wriggles around when I look him in the eye. I know exactly how he feels so I try not to do it too often, but then he carries on doing whatever he's in trouble for so I have to catch his eye again.



squatterandtheant
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11 May 2007, 1:06 pm

People just stare at concrete faced, big eyed, dialated pupiled Aspies cause thay look alien!

Maybe she fancies you? next time she stares just lean in and lick the lenght of her face with your slobery tongue!

:lol: :) :lol:



YojezElledani
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11 May 2007, 1:27 pm

I used to do that. I didn't realize that when I stared at people they could see me staring at them. Now I realize and I get uncomfortable when they look back.



krex
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11 May 2007, 3:12 pm

She was expecting a "specific" answer....maybe fishing for a compliment......?

"Oh,thats a wonderful idea,you are a pure genius for thinking up such a tremendous lesson plan,I am sure the kids will love it"(must be said with a glazed look in your eyes and a cheerleaderish smile.

By the way,does she know about your sexual ppreference,perhaps she is a homophobe or religious zelot,waiting for satan to spring from your chest?

You need to bone up on your psychic powers(actually it would scare you if you knew what people were really thinking).


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Memitim
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11 May 2007, 6:07 pm

Stare back with a neutral expression. No, really, I know how much it sucks to look someone in the eye; it makes my stomach a bit gnarly when I do it. But damned if it doesn't seem to get the point across. Of course, I'm about 6', 220lbs and uglier than a rotted stump so your mileage may vary, but you should try to never let people treat you like an idiot just because you can't read their bloody minds. Licking her face might not be a bad move, either, just for the hilarity of her reaction. ;)



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11 May 2007, 8:49 pm

An NT usually is looking at someone or something for a reason. She's either watching you to see what you are doing, or watching you in order to give off some nonverbal cue to you that you are not able to understand due to Asperger's Syndrome. Just mind your own business unless she says something first, although you could ask her if everything is okay and then she might explain or allude to whatever is causing her to stare. Also, if there's something she really wants you to know, she may end up verbalizing it to you if she finds her facial expression does not get it through.

Quote:
By the way,does she know about your sexual ppreference,perhaps she is a homophobe or religious zelot,waiting for satan to spring from your chest?


This is really tangential, isn't it?



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12 May 2007, 7:27 am

Shes watching to see if you understand what she told you would be my guess.



coolstertothecore
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12 May 2007, 10:24 am

Thanks for the replies!

I think the suggestion that she's looking to see if I understood might be right. She often says things that are incredibly simple to me but seem difficult for her. And often she'll start saying a sentence for me to write down and I write what I'm guessing she'll finish the sentence with and about 5 minutes later she finishes saying the sentence and says "Don't you think you should write that down?"

She is much better at teaching than me but her cognitive abilities seem a bit...well...rubbish. Gosh that sounds like an arrogant thing to say. It is true though. :-D So maybe she thinks that what she is saying is complicated and can't understand why I answer "Right, okay" straight away.

Krex - you may also be right that maybe I don't look impressed enough with her suggestions. As for my sexual preference, do you know something I don't? :-) I'm heterosexual!

I also won't be licking her face. :P She looks like the type who would floor me if I did, although my boyfriend would no doubt like the idea. hehe.

When I talk about her, my bf says "She sounds like the kind of person who would never even think about suicide". I think she's the kind of person who thinks that dyslexia is just laziness and depressed people should quit their whining. When I told her I have lung disease she said "Awww", like I'd just said "I have a bit of a cold today". hehe. Made me laugh.

As for staring back with a neutral expression, I don't think I have any other expression. :-) I took a photo of myself smiling and realised when I looked at it that I wasn't at all. My normal look is a sort of frown.



krex
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12 May 2007, 10:47 am

Sorry coolstertothecore,

I just assumed that you were the person in your avatar :oops: and you have mentioned having a boyfriend before,so......
My bad.


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coolstertothecore
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12 May 2007, 11:13 am

He he, don't worry about it!

Nope, that's Elliott Smith, the world's most amazing musician to ever grace this planet. In my opinion. :-)

If it's any consolation, I wanted to be a boy until I was about 10. I've also been told by lots of "friends" that I'm not a real girl and one "friend" said that I'm not feminine. I have great friends. hehe.



jonathan79
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15 May 2007, 1:05 pm

Just say, "is there something else?" to turn the tables on her.


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Anna4077
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18 May 2007, 5:17 am

My "escape plan" for uncomfortable situations is to glance at my watch and say "Oh, I've gotta go to church/band practice/library/swingers party. See you next time." :lol:



AnonymousAnonymous
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31 May 2007, 4:39 pm

Just hold a backpack/book/newspaper in front of your face; works like a charm!


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