Methods for learning social skills?

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Hello,
I recently decided I finally want to work on learning some basic social skills. Dont get me wrong, this is not about "conforming" with how the NT's want us to be. I am proud of being an aspie and I think it is a wonderful group. However for my ambitions in life it will be important for me to play along well with the typical NT background. It may be nice to dream of a world of tolerance, where everybody accepts everyone just for who he is. But since this doesn't even apply for NT's and is surely not going to happen in the next years, it is for me to change or better: To play a certain role convincingly. And I'm really looking forward to it, I think this can be fun, like learning a new language and in the end I'm sure that aspies can achieve anything they care (obsess) about

So I know others have already tried this and had alot of success. I'm quite interested in the methods for doing so, alas:

a) Any good books you can recommend? (I know Carnegies "How to win friends and influence people" or Peales "Power of positive thinking" are supposed to be good).
b) Any good ressources on websites?
c) Any other ways of learning, I havent thought about? Keep in mind that group-things like acting classes etc... might be a bit too hard for me right now, since in addition to aspergers I have some severe social anxiety. But never mind, mention them anyway, if you believe them to be helpful

Copy people on TV.
Talk to yourself a lot.

Thank you for your advise! What exactly do you mean by "copy people"? Like imitating their ways of moving or using their hands when talking? I always fear that I wont be able to really reproduce this stuff and than I seem even more strange lol. Maybe it's just trial and error though.

I seem strange quite a lot I think.
It gets easier though with practice.
By 'copying them' I don't mean copying them word for word etc, I mean in general. If you watch people on TV, then it makes it easier to know how to react in certain situations. You can pick up on some phrases to use if you don't know exactly what else to say. Things like that. The more you watch other people interacting, the easier it is to try and do it yourself, and although it might not always be as realistic, it's easier to watch people on TV than in real life. It helps me anyway lol

Yea I learned a lot of social cues from copying people on tv, and studying people the best I can

I recall a wonderfull series called manwatching (I think was Desmond Morris) and more recently some good stuff by Dr Jonothan Millar certanly taught me quite a lot.

Desmond Morris does human stuff? I know him only from his comprehensive encyclopedia of dog breeds, which is one of my favorite books ever because of the sheer wealth of information in it. *makes mental note to find this show and watch it*

Ahem. I've had some luck reading about human behavior though books about evolutionary psychology.

Was also published as a book, seem to recall quite contriversial at the time.

I by no means have social behavior all figured out, but I did get a piece of advice that was useful. An older woman sensed my discomfort and told me, "Watch the winners. The ones that behave in the way you wish you could. Then pick one thing they do. (Like smile, make pleasant facial expressions when listening to others) Practice the one thing until it doesn't feel strange. Then move on to another thing." At first, my brain would feel like it was going to implode from the strangeness of it all, but some of the things I tried I have incorporated into my mannerisms, and I am more often considered possibly "eccentric" which is an improvement.

At first, practicing these things could sometimes make me break into a sweat, they were so anxiety-producing.

Nothing is better than experience. The problem is that you are never allowed time to practice in social situation, it's always "go time" and you rarely get a second chance.

So I guess just go and do stuff, and perhaps assume you may fail at first and don't let it keep you down... but keep on learning and adapting and changing up what you are doing. Try to find what works and what doesn't.

It is a lot easier said than done though, because I have rarely put this advice into practice. But in situations where I am forced to interact, eventually I get used to it and know what to do.

There needs to be something where you can just practice social interactions with trained actors... and get experience before going out into the real world.

Or a mentor type thing, but I don't know where you can set up this sort of thing.

Lots of good advice on here, I agree on trying to incorporate some things that the people you look up to do, and keep on doing it until its second nature. A lot of it has to do with mindset and train of thought so always work on being positive and not worrying about the past. The more times you get back up the harder it is for you to fall because youve learned new perspectives from similar situations. Also improving socially takes knowledge and growth of ones own being, so always keep trying to understand reactions you have(afterwards of course, dont let it get you down midconversation), learn from other conversations going around you, put yourself in their shoes and think what you would have done, why, how do you think it could of gone better, etc. Although I wouldnt consider myself a socialite or even close, I do pretty decent and I would even go on to say that my "skills" are better than some NT's, of course im still not satisfied and im still on that road of improvement like yourself, good luck.