Self-Defence - A social skill?

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I personally have a bit of experience in the area and found the feeling not having to backdown from a physical confrontation highly helpfull. Even if I dislike violence higly because it is offten rooted in some sort of lower instincts and primate pack dynamics I'am strugling with my whole life, I hate it to give way to unfair people.

I find that without ability to discern when my reaction is appropriate, I just come off as a jerk. So I try not to antagonize people because I float in this bubble of not-sure-if-my-behavior-is-appropriate.

Bleh.