I need help with urban living

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I was really hoping I could get some general advice on functioning in an urban setting. I spent my early childhood (up until about the age of 5) a farm on the outskirts of a small quaker community. After we left the farm, I found myself in the suburbs. In this community (which I won't name specifically since I still live there roughly 85% of the time) we all know each other. Nothing really significant ever happens (with very few exceptions). We don't have any form of public transportation because someone can walk from one edge of town to the other in just a few minutes (as I often do to get groceries, return cans, etc.). I've been comfortable in small town/rural settings all my life.

My sister was never really happy with this environment. As soon as she got the chance, she moved to Portland. Since she moved out almost four years ago, I've taken every opertunity I've hd to go and visit her, but I feel really out of my element in the city. She did teach me how to use the MAX and to always wear earbuds/headphones to discourage people from aproaching me. I've also found that (having very obviously northern european features and a rather athletic build) I can go for a look that might make someone question wether or not I'm a skinhead (mostly just having a shorter buzz cut than usual that allows for a full view of my scalp, having objects (such as a paracord bacelet, one of my EDC knives or pretty much anything that's woodland, OD, Cotote Tan or desert camo as well as almost anything with MOLLE webbing on it) associated with military or paramilitary organizations visible on my person, wearing darker colored, more casual clothing (not necessarily a skinhead thing, but it's a lot better than if I stuck with my usual, fairly preppy clothing) & trimming my beard in such a fashion that I only have facial hair on my chin and the surrounding area. It's basically the lower half of the beard shown at the bottom of this post, but it's a bit wider and currently about half an inch long).

I'm only seventeen, but I look like I'm in my early to mid twenties. I went to the laundromat on Martin Luther King Jr blvd just this morning and did five loads of laundry. It took a lot longer than I expected because for some reason it just wasn't drying. However, in the entire time I spent there, nobody spoke to me or made eye contact (with the exception of the owner of the place. I asked her what smelled so nice as I was walking out and she told me that she'd just baked a cake (the other half of the building is a bakery). I don't remember what type she said it was, but I remember that she said it featured apple, cinimon and streusel,). My counselor isn't a big fan of the new look, but I plan to be clean shaven and preppy looking again when school starts in a couple weeks,

The homeless people in my town are (for the most part) reasonable and intelligent people with whom I can have a decent discussion. For example, I met a man by the name of Gerald who decided not to get a job and instead to devote his life to the persuit of knowledge. consequently, I can almost always find him just by checking the local library and the library of the nearest university (which I would not like to name). Despite sleeping in a tent, he's quite clean and well-groomed (he does have an extremely long grey hair and a long beard that kind of reminds me of a wizard, but it's always neat & combed). He's also extremely articulate and well-read on a number of subjects. The students (and a few of the staff) at the university he uses the facilities of have taken to thinking of him as a "guru" since he always has something to say about spirituality (generally based on something he read about taoism or buddhism) and sometimes prescibes specific forms of meditation to people.

For a while, I assumed that the average homeless person in Portland was insane (based on the ramblings of people who would start talking to me on the bus about rape, seeing dead people & similar things that I really didn't want to talk about) but it occured to me that with all the public services available in a city, combined with the unusual dress and behavior that's to be expected of a portlander, it's probably just that the intelligent/sane ones are able to blend in while the relatively small number of crazies demand people's attention.

Today, I asked my sister if she had any more advice for me on dealing with people in the city and she said something to the effect of "No matter how gracefully you handle the situations you're confronted with, weird s**t's going to happen to you."

So, what's your advice for a small-town aspie trying to get used to being in a city? I don't plan on moving to one any time soon, but it would be nice to visit for a few days without feeling like a total alien and needing to stay by my sister's side all the time to feel secure. I'm sorry if this isn't entirely coherant or if there are a ton of typos in this post. It's just that it's after midnight and I'm pretty worn out from moving furniture today. I half expected to fall asleep typing this.

THIS IS NOT A PICTURE OF ME

First off: the picture you posted looks like a convict from the show "Lock-up." I also recognize it as a picture which has been posted previously on WrongPlanet.

I would say urban living is not as bad as people make it out to be. I've been an urban dweller all my life, living in that ultimate urban jungle, New York City.

Basically, if on public transportation, I would not look people in the eye. I would bring a newspaper, a Kindle, whatever, and read it. Headphones are useful as well if you don't want to be bothered.

If you don't know a homeless person, I would be cautious in my interactions with one. Many of them have mental problems, and might not perceive you in a proper way; they might even perceive you as some incarnate of evil. They might be totally lucid one moment, then totally deranged the next minute. I'm glad you had that interaction with the "guru" guy. I would love to speak to homeless people myself--but I'm too concerned for my safety to speak to most of them.

Depending on the urban environment, PERSONAL SPACE might become an issue. Additionally, living in apartment buildings, one has to put up with the normal noises of people who live in other apartments. Some Aspies/Auties have sensory issues which might interfere with life's enjoyment under these circumstances.

Basically, living in an urban environment provides one with less personal space. There is more to do, at later hours, however--especially in the downtown areas of major urban centers. This might not be true for the outskirts of major urban centers.

I wouldn't buy a car if I'm living in the center of a city. Public transportation is usually adequate enough. The only problem is when you want to take a vacation outside the urban area; you're limited then. You'd probably have to, eventually, pay to park in a downtown area, or places nearby--the parking rules are that irritating, onerous, etc. I'm glad I live in "outer" Queens primarily because there are less parking problem, and a person could own a car with ease there, from a parking standpoint.

All in all, if a person needs to live in their own personal space, without much ambient noise, one shouldn't move to an urban area.