Boundaries with email and writing emails
11 Sep 2014, 3:51 pm
Hi,
What are some social boundaries that are to be practiced with writing emails, sending and responding? I have recently gotten into some trouble where I was writing to many emails, and also writing to people's work emails. I want to know, how long do you wait for someone to respond? WHat should I do if someone "forgets" to respond? And how do I ask a person for their email if I want to write?
Help would be much appreciated!
11 Sep 2014, 4:03 pm
Understand that any and all e-mail messages delivered to a person's work account are saved and (sometimes) read by someone other than the person. This might get the person in some trouble with his or her employer. I would start out by sending a very brief message to the person and asking "is it okay for me to contact you at this account?" and offer your own private e-mail-account address, text address or phone number. The person can then decline receiving your messages at work and contact you at your account, instead. If the person agrees to accept your messages at a work account, they might not reply to every message, and even then, only once a week or so. They are at work, so they might not even have time to read your message for a few days. In a workplace setting, I would send a followup message in a week or two after the last message. If neither of your two messages receive replies, I would try to find another way (away from the workplace) to contact the person. If that doesn't work, the person just probably doesn't want to communicate.
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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)
11 Sep 2014, 5:59 pm
Avoid e-mailing people at their work address. If it's absolutely necessary (like,you have no other means of contact), do what the above poster suggested and ask if it's ok in your first e-mail.
If you see people in person, ask them if it is ok to e-mail them before you send the first message. Some people don't use e-mail much and/or don't know how to use it, so they might not want to communicate that way and would be upset and ignore your e-mails if you send without asking first. Your e-mails might be going to spam and they don't even realize it because they don't check e-mail often or don't know how spam works.
I would wait a couple of days for friends to reply, five business days for businesses or work accounts, and a full week for platonic acquaintances. After that, you could try to send another e-mail summarizing what you said in the other e-mail and asking if the other person received it, and possibly gently suggesting that it might be in their SPAM folder (try not to make it sound like they are stupid for not checking their spam folder). If you still get no response, contact them some other way. If it's a business, contact a supervisor.
A very good thing to do is to send your e-mails with a return receipt. With that, you receive an e-mail after the e-mail you sent was read. So, if you get your return receipt and no response from the person, you have some idea of what is happening (maybe that person is too busy to respond right away, and you should expect something in a day or so, or, if days go by, that person forgot or is ignoring you, and you can figure out what to do next).
