White lies

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The events that inspired this post happened quite a while ago; sorry it's taken me this long to get this off my chest.

En route home from a road trip to the Thousand Islands, the person driving my car asked me where I lived -- a bit of a surprise that he waited until dark to ask this question rather than on the way in the morning. I told that I was living in an apartment. Now the rub here is that I live at home at my advanced age, but the upstairs area asks as something of a loft apartment. The white lie was something I learned from my parents if strangers were to ask what I do in life as we know it and if was reconnecting with old friends.

Does anyone else in this forum use white lies in everyday life when the situation presents itself? (Sorry for the poorly worded question, but there you go.)

Short answer is yes. In these kinds of situations it's due to shame or I feel like I'm being cooked under pressure and utter the first words I think they expect to hear.

In the past I used to do it quite frequently. They just sort of popped out of me whenever I didn't want to admit something about myself that was embarrassing. I probably haven't done that for about 15 years, though.

I used to be brutally truthful. Sometimes my remarks would make people pretty angry. I eventually learned to tone it down a bit but even now it is generally more of a hedging instead of a complete lie.

I often don't see the opportunity to tell a self-protective white lie like that until the truth is already out of my mouth, but it kinda depends on who I'm talking to and where.

I don't like to lie. Normally, I just avoid conversation as much as possible.

i only do it when i'm absolutely sure that they cannot see the ruse. i do it a lot even when i know the truth will not hurt. if the truth is already out anywhere there's no point, obviously.

when playing truth or dare with strangers, pick truth. you can tell a blatant lie and none will be the wiser, but for a dare, you actually have to do it.

I use "fuzzy logic" nowadays where statements can have a truth value from 0% to 100%.

And just like in school, I want to keep it passing if I can. I won't tell a complete lie, but I may omit some of the most painful parts. I'll tell "half-truth" that's actually more than half true lol.

I'd say, however, when talking to another person with Asperger's/autism or on Wrong Planet, fire away with the blunt truth! We'll ultimately improve as people better the more painful truth we can take in stride. And if you're NT and have the courage to tell someone known to be AS such truth... I commend you. Oftentimes, the person will be very grateful to FINALLY hear a straight answer to the question!

And of course you have to include the good with the bad when being blunt. Nothing's worse than losing truth value by omitting good parts... And it's possible to put positive spin on something while keeping it 100% true.

i dont out right lie but ill generaly make a statment so vague or confusing that doesnt really say anything if im asked a question i dont want to answer and cant just ignore. like if someone ask me how old i am, i just say im over 18 if thats what your worried about, and then just decline to say anythng if they still want to know exactly. lot of parts of my life are unbelievable so when asked anything abuot my past, if i answer at all, i usuallly make blanket statment like iv done lot of jobs or my family is very "religious" so that dont stun peoplle or get them too interested.