Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

jerry00
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2013
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 269

21 Oct 2014, 1:36 pm

I've been friendly with this woman at work for a while, sometimes she seems really interested in talking to me, giving me intense eye contact and standing in my personal space, other times she's cold and distant and doesn't really look at me when we talk. Today she was the later. I was talking to her and she was responding casually enough. Then her friend walked in and asked her "when are we going for coffee?". So I said "Can I go for coffee with you guys?" and looked at her friend (who I'm also friendly with) who had no response, so I looked back at her and she said "maybe someday... if we happen to be going at the same time".

So that's a pretty obvious no, right? Since we almost never happen to be leaving at the same time, she could easily avoid leaving at the same time, and could just as easily tell me the time so I could go. Instead I get this "maybe someday" nonsense. Why? To make me feel bad?



Uprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,908

21 Oct 2014, 3:14 pm

Perhaps they just don't want any other people around when they're having a (private) coffee with each other?

Sort of like "ladies night" in some way.

Either that or you are unimportant to them or they might fear you would flirt with them during the coffee or they indeed resolutely dislike you.

Perhaps they feel like you're jumping into their private lives too quick?



Last edited by Uprising on 21 Oct 2014, 3:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jerry00
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2013
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 269

21 Oct 2014, 3:18 pm

Yeah I think that's probably it.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,241

21 Oct 2014, 6:07 pm

It sounds like she isn't that interested in you personally. The reason she is probably doing that is because she is one of those social mingle type woman. That's neurotypical behavior. What someone like her will do it talk to you one day and then go find someone else to talk to on another. Although the cold shoulder part is a little weird though.

As for the coffee thing it would be that she would like you to come but you seemed to jump in at the last minute. The best thing to do would be to ask when they plan on going to coffee next.