Kind of wish one of my boyfriend's kids had an ASD

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My boyfriend has got three teenage kids (yes, he's quite a bit older than me), and they are all typical NTs. The youngest, 15, is quite intelligent and is taking her GCSE's seriously and wants to get into health and beauty when she leaves school. The middle one is 17, and has a girlfriend already and lots of mates, although he is not in an actual job or at college but he gets a bit of money in his pocket by doing some construction work on a building site. And his oldest is 19, and works at a hotel which she really loves doing, and has just been promoted and so is going to be an assistant manager starting next week. She doesn't want any children, but is already happily married and settled down. She is also very popular and has loads of friends.

Her dad (my boyfriend) is a quiet sort of man, which is why he is suited to me. So I suppose his children get their confidence from their mum (his ex-wife). I don't think he knows a lot about Autism. Last week we were watching a TV drama about a hospital, and there was a character who I could tell was Autistic (not in real life), and he was having a meltdown and was flapping his hands and wouldn't communicate, and my boyfriend said it's Epilepsy, but I knew it wasn't an Epileptic fit at all. I suppose if he's never brought up any children on the spectrum and (I assume) never had to really deal with anybody on the spectrum, then I suppose he wouldn't really know much about it. I know he seems kind and understanding, but I think I would feel less ashamed of him having an Aspie for a girlfriend if one of his kids was on the spectrum, or at least had some other condition that affects a person, like Down's Syndrome, you know, anything that requires the person to need extra support or guidance or understanding, etc.

I know that probably sounds really mean because Asperger's or Autism is something I wouldn't want to wish on anybody really, but I think it would be more settling if one of his kids was on the spectrum, instead of being ''normal'' and popular and no stupid disabilities holding them back. Yes, I know every decent parent worries about their kids, and yes my boyfriend has groaned about his son out with mates too much instead of actually thinking about looking for a job, but it's still better than having a teenager that is lonely and depressed and sitting in his room all the time and/or being bullied by his peers and not fitting in and struggling to find work because of mental health conditions.

Does anyone get what I mean?

its hereditary from generation families. are you really that confused. i am really disappointed you call disability bad. but yet you wished someone from your boyfriends kids was disabled? what is your problem? are you saying you dont believe your boy friend's kids are normal?

Why would you wish this terrible curse o someone else?

Maybe I am jealous then. I do get jealous an awful lot. I like his kids, but I just think people are lucky when all of their kids are ''normal''. If being born normal is that common, then why couldn't I of been normal?

I do understand why you would want it. Then he'd be used to it and understand it better and it wouldn't just be because of you.

Yeah, that's something I think about a lot. No one else in my family has this curse, so why did I have to be inflicted? NT + NT should = NT, not AS. Talk about losing in the genetic lottery! The chances of me getting this is so slim, yet I drew the shortest straw.

Phew, glad somebody understands what I was trying to say instead of making me feel like I have said something bad. I like all of his kids, they are nice people, and I don't mean it personally when I say about what if one of his kids was on the spectrum. I can be very imaginative, so I often get lost in fantasy a lot and imagine what little differences would make life easier or different, and see if anybody can relate. I am not a bad person.

I believe I am a good person. My boyfriend's mum has very recently passed away, and I am doing all I can to be there for him. He even had to cancel our vacation what I have been really looking forward to, but I am not disappointed because I expect it. I imagine myself in his shoes and I know that that's what I would do if my mum passed away. I would be devastated, and I know that he is, and so I am thinking of him and his family, and not myself at all. I've even had a few tears, not for myself, but for him losing his mum. I've told I am there for him, and I've been thinking about him all day.