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GoatOnFire
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23 Feb 2007, 2:02 am

I'm a freshman at college right now and although my grades are very good my social life isn't. I try to figure out how to make friends but whenever it seems like I'm going to make one I keep running into the same problem. Everytime it seems like someone is becoming friendly to me they get incorporated into some clique and then all of a sudden refuse to acknowledge my existence as they walk past me, even if they're not with the clique. After much work I am now decent at one on one conversation, but I suck whenever there are multiple people around. I'm trying very hard to be social but it never completely works because of this issue. It was never this bad in high school. My hatred of the human race is growing every day. Does anyone have any suggestions that could help me or others with this problem with this? :?:



Graelwyn
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23 Feb 2007, 4:12 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
I'm a freshman at college right now and although my grades are very good my social life isn't. I try to figure out how to make friends but whenever it seems like I'm going to make one I keep running into the same problem. Everytime it seems like someone is becoming friendly to me they get incorporated into some clique and then all of a sudden refuse to acknowledge my existence as they walk past me, even if they're not with the clique. After much work I am now decent at one on one conversation, but I suck whenever there are multiple people around. I'm trying very hard to be social but it never completely works because of this issue. It was never this bad in high school. My hatred of the human race is growing every day. Does anyone have any suggestions that could help me or others with this problem with this? :?:



Simply don't bother...if they behave that way then you probably wouldn't get on with them in the first place... and why would you want to interract with people who behave that way anyway? Or alternatively, keep a watch for someone else like you...it is a college, there have to be some other solitary figures there somewhere. Check the library etc. I did not make one friend during my time at university. I went, I sat through classes, I came home and got online where I knew I could socialise.



hale_bopp
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23 Feb 2007, 4:36 pm

I had the same problem. I tried to befriend people, and some person would come over to me at lunchtime and steal them away into some clique. I've never managed to fix the problem.



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25 Feb 2007, 3:53 pm

I tend to avoid cliques. These are completely different from a group of friends. Cliques generally tend to have one influential 'leader' that the rest of the group suck up to because they cannot think for themselves. Why would anyone want to hang out with a hapless bunch of idiots like that anyway? I would rather be alone than subject myself to that crap.


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lasati
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25 Feb 2007, 5:48 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
I'm a freshman at college right now and although my grades are very good my social life isn't. I try to figure out how to make friends but whenever it seems like I'm going to make one I keep running into the same problem. Everytime it seems like someone is becoming friendly to me they get incorporated into some clique and then all of a sudden refuse to acknowledge my existence as they walk past me, even if they're not with the clique. After much work I am now decent at one on one conversation, but I suck whenever there are multiple people around. I'm trying very hard to be social but it never completely works because of this issue. It was never this bad in high school. My hatred of the human race is growing every day. Does anyone have any suggestions that could help me or others with this problem with this? :?:


Join a club or activity that you enjoy doing. Let me put this another way... join a club that you think would attract the kind of people you feel most comfortable around & revolves around an activity you enjoy doing. In my experience, groups of people have as much of a "personality" as any of the individual members. Find something that suits yours.



fresco
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26 Feb 2007, 2:14 pm

Avoid 'em!



CockneyRebel
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27 Feb 2007, 10:54 pm

I ignore them and do my own thing.



Space
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28 Feb 2007, 12:42 am

cliques suck, even most intelligent NT people will tell you that. Most are pretty superficial too, and likely will not take well to someone with AS...



GoatOnFire
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28 Feb 2007, 7:30 pm

Let me see if I can be more direct. I know cliques suck, that's why I posted this. My problem is that from what I can tell about where I am think I am the only person who isn't in one, making avoiding them quite difficult. Maybe I can't tell the difference between a clique and a group of friends but if I can't tell then there is little difference between the two because groups of friends seem to be just as exclusionary. People suck that way.



Xuincherguixe
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28 Feb 2007, 10:50 pm

Sniper Rifle?
Close Air Support?
Indirect Fire?
Direct Fire?
Orbital Strike?


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voss749
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01 Mar 2007, 10:35 am

In most college classes these days there are older students and foreign students, they tend to not be in cliques.

In the first two years community college classes tend to not be as cliquish because
a) They are mostly commuter students not dormies
b) A lot of non-traditional students



GoatOnFire
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01 Mar 2007, 9:59 pm

voss749 wrote:
In most college classes these days there are older students and foreign students, they tend to not be in cliques.

In the first two years community college classes tend to not be as cliquish because
a) They are mostly commuter students not dormies
b) A lot of non-traditional students


Thanks for that, now I know it's the college. My college isn't a community college. Has an unbelievably low amount of commuters (school policy discourages it). The few older students and foreigners aren't very friendly.

Air support sounds expensive. So does an orbital strike. I'll probably go with the sniper rifle, or if I want to see them suffer, direct fire. :wink:



blackdove
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02 Mar 2007, 12:37 am

find the outcasts and befriend them. take notice of the commuters, for they, automatically have something in common with you. there has to be someone who hates the cliques as much as you do. then again, i wasn't all that "friendly" or "popular" at school, so you might be asking the wrong crowd. if you look around your cafeteria/school lounge, there has to be a coupla other people in the same position as you. it's still your freshman year at college, there is time for you yet.



Anubis
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02 Mar 2007, 3:21 am

Xuincherguixe wrote:
Sniper Rifle?
Close Air Support?
Indirect Fire?
Direct Fire?
Orbital Strike?


LOL!

Cliques are just popularity parades, and I avoid them by a mile.


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Dundunduuun
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02 Mar 2007, 9:19 pm

Well I have to point out that cliques are really a group of people who share interests. It's not like a 'gang' or anything like that. I reckon a few of you could certainly 'join' one....but then again it's not 'joining', like a fraternity or something. It's just that if you get on with them and you share interests, you'll just 'blend in' to it.

However, it is true that cliques talk about other cliques and mock their interests, such as Goths and Chavs. Goths like rock, chavs like techno etc. Some even fight. But that's just stupid, and you certainly be part of a 'clique' without getting involved in that. It's usually a hyper-tensive indevidual within the clique who'll fight, and you can certainly be part of the clique without getting involved in THAT.

Anyway you shouldn't be indimitated by the idea of cliques. If you hate the ways of one clique it goes to show you're really aligned with another! :lol:



arcadianfire
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06 Mar 2007, 1:07 am

If you want the clique to show interest in you, you have to show interest in the clique. If you believe yourself to be compatible (ie are you from the same hometown, same year, major, activities), start contributing to the clique. This means finding cool stuff to do, "Hey guys, what are you doing on friday? My friend is having this party...". Now, if you don't know about any parties going on, you need to meet more people! Join a club, team, or fraternity. The more people you know, the more people will know you and invite you to things, and the better time you will have.