Getting attacked for reciting facts

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This is a very hard one to explain. When I talk to people usually online I use information (facts) that they've given me about themselves, but the way I deliver these 'reminders' is taken by that person in an accusing way. I usually think it's ok because the information is something the person has let other people know about themselves, but when I bring that information back up they get really insulted, and start swearing at me and stuff.

Example 1:

I found out a person was trying to get a fake profile of them removed but it turned out to be a fan page, so I was confused. I would be honored to have a fan page be made for me. I'm a band photographer so I do have a few fans.

I found out this person didn't want that page up because it wasn't approved by them and this page was getting their likes. So, I told them the only reason why you don't want this fan page up is because you want those 'likes' for your own page. They just told us that, so it was a fact. Then the person started to get really insulted, kind of ranted at me, and brought up all this other stuff.

Example 2:

This person had once said Jerry Seinfeld said he may be on the autism spectrum for attention, so when he backed away from that statement she thought she was right at acted really smug. So I told them to over themselves (might have been a mistake - It's an Australian slur) and explained why I thought it was preposterous that Jerry would say it for attention. Basically got told to f**k myself and then got blocked by this very angry person.

Hmm. Perhaps bringing up factual information about people and delivering it in this accusing manner is not the best approach when trying to have a serious adult discussion with people with very little control of their emotional reactions. I've bipolar so when I get angry I just wait til it's passed before I reply. When you have to deal with explosive emotions like that on a daily basis you learn how to control your reactions to people.

So, what to do? Catch myself out next time and just try to keep my thoughts to myself? Or maybe change the way I deliver the message? It's hard one to work and it really has got me into a lot of trouble. I'm talking people blocking, swearing at me, ranting me and me basically blocking and/or unfriending them. I'm glad IRL I'm too distracted to follow conversations at all. I usually get lost for words when I get emotionally riled up too.

When I read your examples it doesn't seem like you said anything at all offensive. Hmmm, I'm not sure what advice I can give. People are confusing sometimes. Ultimately they don't like anyone suggesting that they might be wrong.

The first one was upset because you perceived their real motive. It may not be polite to infer that people have ulterior motives even when they do, if the matter is trivial like this. It's best not to directly accuse someone of being conceited. If they are stealing money from your Grandma then yes, accuse them and expose their motives, but this seems a bit of a trivial thing to have a disagreement over. Sometimes it's better to let things be and not comment just to grease the wheels of social interaction. it's annoying I know.

The second one seems like they just didn't like that you disagreed with them. Seems more like they have a short fuse. It doesn't appear to be your fault.

The first person actually said that thing about not wanting other people to get their 'likes.' I basically just repeated it. She felt like a reasonable person and I was a bit confused why someone who was a fan of them and made the page in their honor would be seen as a troll and person that made a fake profile. Then after I made my reply she went off on me.

Then I got a bit cheeky and told my fans (of my photography) that I'd be ok if they made a fan page for me.

The other person was just highly strung.

I haven't gotten into a major argument like that in awhile. I'm wording my posts in the video game community very carefully.

Facts can seem pretty cold. If someone's looking for sympathy or understanding, or just conversation, and you reply with facts, you may be giving them precisely what they don't want. Being right isn't the same thing as being helpful.

Also, responding with facts about a person can make it look like you've given them more thought they they are comfortable with. For most people, conversation in a forum is just conversation. They don't give it more thought than they do spoken conversation. If they say something they wish they hadn't, or say something they didn't think out very well, they'd rather you didn't notice. If they make a mistake, they'd like the opportunity to change their minds without being reminded of their original position. If they forgot about something that should have been obvious, they don't like to have their failure expounded upon.

Well people don't like to have facts recited at them, it can come off as condescending...in a lot of situations. I mean if they are taking a class, watching a documentary or something where they are wanting to hear facts on a topic then its a more appropriate context but in general social interaction it can seem condescending which of course people can get rather defensive over or they might feel like you are trying to prove them wrong and make an argument out of it when maybe looking for more supportive words. At least that is my theory based on my life experience thus far.

Aspies are known for appreciating facts more than "supporting words."

well basically people have a pride thing and the person that want the fan page removed probably is jealous but they don't want to "appear" that way, so pointing it out kind of ruins the whole image thing alot of NT people have going, that's why they were mad at you, because they felt criticized and wanted to treat you the same in return. People don't like being told they are wrong, and alot of the time it is expected to say nothing about it if people dont ask for advice.

But then again, most of these things are kinda stupid to get worked up about. People argue all the time on time on the internet, you can't avoid it and its totally normal. Hopefully there are some down-to-earth people online that you can communicate with online as well!