Aspie days

Post Reply New Topic

Like, I suspect, most of us, I have days where I am more "passing normal" and days where I have trouble functioning in society to varying degrees. Today is one of my Aspie days.

At breakfast, it seemed like I kept saying things that made people upset and I didn't know why. Then a friend said something unintentionally that made me so upset I had to leave the table. I know she didn't do it on purpose and didn't think I'd react as strongly as I did. Honestly, I think in most other situations, I probably would not have reacted that strongly, but I was already very stressed.

There are also the ongoing complications in my life of going back to school in my 30s, being married, living on campus, trying to juggle home life and school life (socially), trying to get all of my homework done on time, and constantly second guessing others and myself because I can't read people. If someone says they like me, it's hard for me to believe, so I obsess over it and stew.

And emotions... why? Why do they happen? Why can't I figure out why I'm sad or upset half of the time? Why do the attachments that people put on things (myself included) make no sense to me, ever?

Your not alone.

Yesterday was a bit of an Aspie day for me. I was all fidgety and anxious at school. I wished my soul could escape my own skin so I could just purely live instead of exist. This feeling will pass, keep reminding yourself of that.

I have it happen sometimes at work. I work in a place that requires me to be social and talk on the phone(call center) and so when I deal with irate customers on the phone and it's bad enough that I get upset, I have a hard time. My second week on the job training, I dealt with someone who was so rude that I had to take a ten minute break and I didn't even want to go back from break because I had a meltdown and was overwhelmed and nearly cried. I find my Aspie comes out and is more obvious when I'm overwhelmed or stressed.

I guess when we are stressed, the learned "normality" and façade crumbles. Hence I tend to start weirding people out when I am nervous, stressed etc.
Not helpful at all in social situations, especially when you are trying to learn about someone...

And those annoying "mood swings"? I keep pictures of my puppies on my phone for that purpose.

Those happen to me when I don't get enough sleep.

Same thing here

I never pass as normal, but I do have days that are worse than others...sometimes the negative aspects of the AS become more apparent or at least harder to cope with under stress. But in general I doubt people think I pass as normal.

I think I'm having one of those days today...

I just can't get a grip of myself and everything seems to be five times as hard to understand. It's one of those days where I put on music and just zone out a bit, eventually end up posting on this forum on the short stints I don't feel utterly spaced out.

I suppose the fact that I feel really, really tired plays part as well. But I can't go to bed yet... otherwise I wont sleep later and for once... I have an appointment so I have to get up. That's why I hate appointments. These forced obligations; they mess with my functioning way too much and I'm literally losing a full day of functioning to somewhat adjust to a regular thing so I actually show up on time.

But hey, at least I somewhat know what causes it most of the time. I also keep a free schedule pretty much all the time, since I don't know if I could deal with this state of mind on a constant basis... I'd go crazy pretty fast I reckon.