Why do NTs jump back to boring topics?

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I was on okcupid practicing my conversation skills. I was chatting about the election and how I was excited to vote for the first time. I never did anything inappropriate like mention who I'm voting for.

In the middle of that conversation I got asked how I'm doing out of nowhere. What the hell? Isn't that what people ask at the beginning of the conversation?

The election isn't a special interest for me. It's just way more interesting than "how I'm feeling".

I'm curious about the timeline of this. If it's been a while since the last time you spoke, this could just be serving as a proxy for "hello, what's up?"

If you've been monopolizing the conversation, it may be a way to shift to something of more mutual interest. How you're feeling could be a way to get to know who you are as a person (which seems relevant on a dating site). It could be an expression of concern - some people become obsessed with things when they are feeling very anxious or depressed, so they could be checking in on that. It could be completely topical - you're voting for the first time, you could be feeling excited about it, powerful, like you're finally an adult or a citizen, some sense of deep accomplishment...maybe they want to share in that.

I think given the information you presented it's really impossible to know what they were getting at. Perhaps a good follow-up would be a simple and short answer. "I'm feeling really good (or sad/depressed/anxious/excited/whatever), why do you ask?"

As I'm reading the chat I noticed that he was the one who brought up the elections first. I wasn't monopolizing the conversation at all.

He was actually talking a bit more than me. I thought it was topical at first, so I mentioned how I felt about the elections. He quickly asked "How's life treating you?" afterwards. I said ok and added a short comment about the elections.

He later asked me why I'm on okcupid. Trying to figure out why people ask that. I guess he was tired of talking about the elections.

Kind of nice I can read all of the conversations I had. Can't do that in real life.

Hard to know for sure, but I read that as a bit distracted. Maybe he was distracted because he was nervous, or bored. During dating, some people talk about things they don't really understand to impress others with how interesting and well rounded they are. When you push too deep on the topic, they change the topic. Some people just get so nervous that they freeze up can't think of anything intelligent to say and change the topic to avoid looking dumb. Or they just get distracted because their mind is on something else -like turning an online conversation into a date or turning a date into kissing or more...

I think a little of this is normal...too much and I'd start thinking this isn't a good conversation/date (for them or for me or both).

most people find politics boring and have no interest in discussing something they know almost nothing about.
unless it's something that directly effects them and they have a strong opinion about it then they won't care.

most people are kinda secretive when it comes to politics as well since it can lead to conflicting views
people will try to change the conversation but won't guide it which isn't especially helpful.

but surely if your talking to someone on okcupid their profile offers clues as to what they might want to talk about.

in his view, the current topic was (getting) boring.
asking how someone is doing is a default starter; he was trying to restart the conversation with a new topic.

just remember: our special interests are often boring to NTs, so they ask the same question as you opened with about us...

People get tired of talking about a particular topic and change the subject. As for switching to boring topics, well that depends on who is doing the judging. What you may find interesting may be something that I find boring and vice versa.

Also, you said you were practicing conversation, so one thing you may want to work on practicing is switching around talking about other topics, letting the other person lead the conversation, and also making small talk.

What's wrong with a person asking someone else "how are you doing?"

Like previous posters said, it's sort of like saying "What's up?" in the street. No harm meant by this.

I guess it's an example of the "social aspect" of NT's.

Elections aren't a special interest for me. It's just slightly more interesting than talking about how I'm doing.


It's just hard for me to answer, so I say I'm ok and try to change the topic as fast as possible. Ok is a pretty good description of how I'm feeling most of the time. I have mild depression that makes me feel apathetic and unmotivated.

What really pisses me off is when people ask why I'm ok and not good. I usually tell them that it's just an average day. If I'm feeling extra grumpy I'll tell them that it's not realistic to expect "good days" every day.

I get what you're saying.

What ‘social aspect’ of NTS are we referring to here? I’m not sure how it has anything with an electoral debate or an OK Cupid profile.
The majority of what they say and do are two different things. On average, the U.K proportion of men don’t wish to have a chat with you at all, just to ‘see a pic’. Why though, does it have to be online?
I find the idea of submitting one too intimate, and in the past, have succeeded fine without.
All I’m saying is why the obvious pressure? Are we all just trying to evolve around each other or shut one another out here?
All the dating websites I’ve been on are useless, involve one night stands of which I obviously refuse, and the Aspie dating sites, you normally pay.(why?).
So all in all, if you aren’t sure about the person, don’t try and ‘wake up their human desire’, they usually have many. Shutting down the process of limiting yourself to one cyber bully can lead to problems in your own self. Meaning you are apt to shut down. I’ve had some pretty sober experiences that just burden me with more blind pain and lack of forthcoming vigour.
Online dating is getting more and more dangerous, to even give a shred of yourself away. Don’t encourage it.

I'm talking about asking "How are you doing?" That is an example of the social aspect of NT's. It's sort of a ritual.

Sometimes, they really DO care "how you're doing:

Sometimes, though, it's a "conversational filler." They don't "not care"--but they don't care all that much, either. The only "appropriate" answer in this instance, is "fine." That fulfills the ritual. In anything else is said in response, the conversation becomes awkward.

Fair enough but if she's talking about making a pass at sm1, then no amount of answers can fulfil that ritual.

If people kept talking about deep and intriguing topics, we could learn a lot from one another. Clearly this has to be avoided

Since it's in the context of a dating site, they could have changed the subject because they want to know more about you personally. They may not have been bored, they might have just wanted to know more about other parts of your life.
Personally I change the topic a lot on these sites just to keep it interesting. But I am self conscious about my conversational skills while dating online.

ALSO, i didnt read everyones comments, but OKCUPID tends to lag in response time on different APPS. Like my Tablet is more up to speed with the response time then it is on my computer or my ex's smart phone APP. Keep that in mind when things show up out of order