Social Anxiety, Humiliation, Despair

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Today was really hard. It's like, I forget I'm on the Spectrum and I think I'm acting totally normal when in reality everyone is navigating around me and I'm disrupting group momentum. Today I attended a small grad student breakfast and I just had this realization that I have this tendency to completely block out and ignore people and direct laser focus on one or two persons at a time and people cater to that....the thing is, I have paralyzing social anxiety due to my inability to deal with being on the Spectrum. My biggest fear, the fear of making other people uncomfortable or embarrassed for me, is my everyday reality.

How can I overcome this social anxiety when my biggest fear is realized every time I venture out?
I'm on the brink of what feels like a nervous breakdown.
I just started grad school and I thought it would be a fresh start but I've already created a bad reputation for myself. I hear people calling me "embarrassing" and I try not to internalize it but, holy hell, I don't know how much longer I can handle this.

One of the things that works for me is just standing back and listening...and then making a joke based on what I've heard that shows I've been listening.

Worst that usually happens is someone turns away and doesn't respond to the joke...which I take as a signal to walk away and stop talking. If they want to continue conversation, I've found they'll ask something back...otherwise, they may talk to you but it's often out of pity (and, IMO, not worth it).

If you are female, you likely have the advantage that, even if you do terrible, no one is going to falsely accuse you of "hitting on" anyone for simply being tense while trying to start a conversation.