it hurts to interact

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I have this problem that causes me to avoid social interaction. Whenever I interact with other people I experience actual physical pain. When I make eye contact with other people I feel something like a jolt or energy running through me that is almost like a electrical shock. This makes me feel sick to my stomach. Even just talking to people causes this sensation, though not as bad as when I have to look them in the eyes. I even feel this way with my parents and boyfriend. I tolerate the sensation, even though it is uncomfortable, because, of course, I have to have social interaction. Over the years I've become very good at tolerating it and covering it up. Does anyone else experience similar discomfort when interacting with others?

It's not severe pain, but when I interact, I get the surge of energy and the "GET OUT GET AWAY! NOW NOW NOW HURRY!! !" feeling. I've found NTs don't understand this and it's crippled me socially.

Yes, that's a good way to describe it. I get "a surge of energy" that runs through me and I feel a sense of panic too.

Ditto.

I get the same thing too

I often do get a feeling of panic and a "surge of energy," but not physical pain.

Sometimes it also feels like trying to push together magnets at their like poles. I automatically shift away. It is also comparable looking at a very bright light bulb.

Occasionally, I accidentally make direct eye contact with people for more than a second. It feels strange...somewhat unnerving, chilling. The "'GET OUT GET AWAY! NOW NOW NOW HURRY!! !' feeling" described by CelanKenay is also triggered. It is difficult to describe. However, I do not feel that it is not similar to physical pain (as in falling on a hard surface or being pricked by a needle etc.).

An article on this website mentions studies suggesting that eye contact triggers a "fight or flight" response in people with Asperger's syndrome and autism. Perhaps that is what it is.

I get this a bit but not with everybody.

Mostly with people I don't care about, I don't get any reaction at all. It's no big deal. I'm not scared of them and I'm not pleased to see them either.

For someone I dislike or I think dislikes me - it is quite strong, run away feeling and it can make me feel nauseus as well. I get very nervous and anxious.

For family and close friends it can vary depending on whether I think they will be pleased or angry to see me. If I think they will be pleased to see me I don't get anxious, I may get a bit excited. If I think they will be angry I will get nervous and anxious too.

Official "dates" are hell because I get excited, anxious, nervous, nauseous, and stressed all at once. I try to pretend they are not dates until I get comfortable with the new person.

If you don't want to make eye contact and you don't want people to know - mirror sunglasses can help - outside at least. I worked a job where I had to sell car park tickets. If I looked at the drivers they'd stop and pay, if I was distracted and not looking at them, they'd drive straight through. If I was wearing the mirrored sunglasses they always stopped and paid because they didn't know when I wasn't paying attention.

I've read the article where it suggests how to cope with social interaction. It suggests that we focus on the peripheal and just check in with direct eye contact every so often. The article also states that this interaction will exhaust aspies, but that it is possible for an aspie to build up tolerance for this kind of interaction. Well that's great, but I also know by my experience that my deficit it will soon show up, no matter how hard I try to act like an NT. I have to adapt to the NT world as best I can, but I also know the world has to accommodate my difference too if I am to participate or contribute at all. I have a brain difference, not a psychological problem.

We talked about this on another forum once. From an aspie perspective what I have noted is that when NTs make direct eye contact it is most often not a sign of honesty, but rather a sign that there is a lie going on. This direct eye contact often is a sign that everyone is participating in an implicit agreement to participate in a lie. The most eye contact is made by the person with most power in the room, and the others lock eyes with that person as a sign of agreement that they will remain silent about the "lie". Making eye contact is often a sign that the persons involved will overlook truth and logic for some social ritual that does not make sense or is untruthful to some degree.

I know that part of my anxiety at making direct eye contact is that I do not like to forgo truth and logic over social rituals or arrangements that are often dishonest and based more on power and dominance than anything else.

That seems to contradict what I have read before.
Ugh! It seems that neurotypical communication is amazingly convoluted and bizarre.

To all who don't like eye contact:Just don't have it.

I do try not to look NTs in the eyes, but it's hard to escape their gaze. Before you know it there you are ...ZAPPED.... The funny thing is that some people's eyes hurt me more than other people's eyes.

I think the worst is I get overwhelmed so easily - more than say, 5 people, esp. those I don't know, and I start freezing up. My hubby is in his element being more extroverted, but I just want to go and hide. I used to feel so horrible and embarrassed about it, but now I understand more about AS I know that it's a 'normal' reaction. I still wish I could change it for like, social parties for his job and such, but it's ME and I know that it's a part of me now.

I don't get electrical jolt or anything. It's not like physicial pain,persay, but if for some reason I have particular difficulty with the indviual in question then I can fidget about until the cows get home but along with the sense of panic, I get a sort of pins and needles feeling, anyone else?

I find that after a night of interacting with others at a Party or a Get Together, I wake up with major Body and Headaches the morning after.

Come to think of it, after such a night i experience slight anooying headache sometimes but i never linked it to socialising.......
But i bask in eye contact to the point of staring because i obsess with faces...Faces of all sorts are wonderful.... Just facespotting LOL Like trainspotting...
Earlier on - 1 year ago or more- i always aoided eye contact as i was afraid, insecure...

For me I would have to say that I get that way a lot in places where there a whole lot of people or if there are no one in a room that I know of I tend to want to run. When I need to hide it's when either the noise level of the room or resturant get's to much where I can't handle it.