LonelyJar wrote:
In order to qualify for a position as an online math tutor, I had to take a timed online exam. It would have been alright if my mother wasn't there at my computer, while I was more or less double-checking her work. She outright told me that she couldn't trust me enough to let me take the test on my own, and I'd figure she'd have a loud argument with me if I took the test without her watching me, even if I passed. I didn't feel like I was in control, so I was basically spazzing and babbling my way through the whole thing. This only seems to happen to me when I'm forced to do something I really hate against my will, and the fact that I had a live audience didn't help much. It may be because I have severe mommy-and-daddy issues, but I would have had more fun physically injuring myself then having to go through that sort of thing ever again. (Incidentally, I did physically abuse myself afterwards, if only to vent my frustration without breaking anything that really matters.)
With all of this in mind, who was more in the wrong? How can I convince my mom to let me try to do some of these kinds of things by myself before asking for her help? How can I learn to not overreact this way ever again, assuming making a reasonable argument would change nothing in a similar situation?
I'm curious as to why your mother feels she can't trust you with this. Does she have cause, or is she just trying to keep you dependent upon her?
If you want your mother to trust you, you have to earn that trust by proving that you can do things on your own without her micro-managing your actions. If you can prove it while she's breathing down your neck, you'll really drive the point home!
As for not overreacting? You know who your mom is and what she'll do. If you can prove to her that you can do things on your own, she'll loosen the reigns, so to speak. If she doesn't after you have continually and consistently proved yourself, then you need to have a heart to heart with her as to why she won't let up. Then it's on her. What's on you is to accept your mother's behavior. If you can get her to open up why she feels she can't trust you, then you can alter your response to her behavior with understanding. Then you will be able to control your behavior. When she sees this then SHE will have to change.
09 Dec 2014, 7:40 am
