Why don't NTs like to attend our things?

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Hi:
I was wanting to know the main reason why NTs are not interested in attending out get together. For the most part people who are on the spectrum like me are willing to come over. If I invite over an NT the majority of them have said no.

Do you ever experience this? For you NTs out there why don't you want to come to our things? What do we do that puts you off?

It really depends on how you (or the person with ASD) come across and I'd have to know the history of you or the person with ASD's past behaviors from an NT point of view. Usually, the reasons in which NTs reject those on the spectrum is due to misreading or misunderstanding the person with ASD's behaviors and a lack of tolerance for these behaviors on their part as NTs can often be selective about who they associate with.

It's their loss if they don't accept your invitations to get togethers, as it's not like you aren't taking initiative. If they aren't inviting you to things themselves, this could be a sign they aren't interested in hanging out.

I strongly believe that having NT friends (unless they have disabilities/differences themselves, are socially awkward too or share an interest) shouldn't be a priority for people on the spectrum as I find that misunderstandings and conflicts are more likely to occur. It's not a bad thing. You need people in your life who are accepting of who you are. That should be your priority.

I have had one sided deals where NTs seem to hot to trot to invite me to their things and I have gone. When I invite them to something they refuse to come.

I'd have to know more about the types of events and how they act towards you when you come to theirs. If they are inviting you out to group events where many people are coming, they may just want a ton of people to come out rather than wanting specifically you to be there.

Also when you come to their events, do they push you to the side and spend most of their time with others? Or do they make an effort to spend time with you individually? If they ignore you at these events and don't hang out with you one on one, they are acquaintances rather than friends.

A factor that may also come into play (and one that I think is involved) is how well you know the people you are inviting. The people you are inviting that are declining your invitations may be acquaintances rather than friends. From personal experience, I know that acquaintances are FAR less likely to want to come to an event that a person holds than a friend will. This is because people generally don't go out of their way to attend an event with someone they do not know well. I'm unable to observe firsthand how well these people know you and interact with you in real life, but I believe that this is why things have turned out the way they did for you. I know someone on the spectrum who had similar issues with people not coming to her events and this was because the people who she invited were acquaintances who barely knew her.

I had people who I worked with who invited me to things in the past but they did not ignore me and talk to everyone else and then get around to me. They kept saying that they viewed me as another family member but when it came to coming my house warming party no one came. I also got no card or anything. If it was anyone else they got things. I worked there for 8 years.

I mainly invited people who I know but I have invited some people from my new job to a New Year's party since I am trying to get to know them.

Well, in this case I have to say they are definitely giving you mixed messages. One thing you can do to try to strengthen these connections is to invite them to hang out with you one on one. Take them out for coffee or lunch and see how they respond to these invitations.

I got together with a family member last night and I was talking them about my New Year's Party. I mentioned that I had invited two guys who I used to work for that were independent contractors at a real estate firm. I did things for them for a year and I was told frequently that they were my friends and all that. Then I had to leave because the line of work that I was doing required a license. Long story short I tried for my license and hated the course and decided not to go back next to finding this new job. Plus they were really slick about paying for real estate school.

So anyway I had invited both of those brokers to my event and they have not expressed any interest in getting together what-so-ever. My family member said that they probably are not interested because they are sales people and where there is no money there will be no sales people.

My friends with aspergers never want to come to my things, so maybe it goes both ways? Honestly though, I think it mostly depends on the person. For one thing, I feel like NT's are generally flakier than those with autism. But, who knows.