Writing a letter to a person I only met once

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chrisc1995
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28 Oct 2014, 9:20 pm

Hi all,

I used to volunteer in the municipal elections in my community, and i have an interest in Pakistani culture and history. I met a woman while campaigning who was from Karachi, Pakistan and lived in my town. Because I couldn't email people about non-election purposes, I looked up her address in the phone book, and have a letter typed up. It just explains that I have Autism and I'm interested in the Pakistan culture and that I wanted her to share with me some stuff from her culture. I like hearing things from primary sources instead of from books.

I want to know though, what would you do if you got a letter of this nature? Is it the right thing? Should I send it or not send it?



progaspie
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29 Oct 2014, 4:38 am

Don't suppose the woman you met gave you any hint that she would like to hear from you again? Really would have helped if you had mentioned your interest in Pakistani culture at the time and that may have led to her giving you her contact details. The situation now is that if you send the letter, she may feel violated that you have been able to discover her address. On top of that you intend to reveal to her that you have autism. She may or may not have realised that you are autistic, when she met you.
I don't like your chances that sending the letter will get you anywhere, but you never know. Maybe she did take a liking to you when you met her and she would like hearing from you.



Janissy
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29 Oct 2014, 6:41 am

What would I do if I got that letter? I would avoid any place where I might run into that person again and consult with friends so they could warn me if they saw him anywhere.

At best, the letter makes you sound like you have a culture fetish. It can be extremely annoying for people to be pumped for information about their culture and treated like a library resource instead of a person. If that's her reaction she would merely be annoyed. At worst it makes you seem like a stalker since the letter seems carefully crafted to sound benign yet you looked up her address after only one meeting. That is thru stuff of nightmares for women.

There is a vanishingly small but not zero chance she'll respond positively. However the negative outcomes are much more likely.

If other posters after me say "what have you got to lose?" I'll tell you what you have to lose- your reputation. You can easily gain a reputation from this letter as a cultural fetishist at best and a creepy stalker at worst. It is unlikely she'll tell no one just as it is unlikely she'll respond positively.

Do not send the letter!! !! !



InZane
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25 Dec 2014, 10:29 am

Chris,

As far as Pakistani culture goes, you're better off getting information from first-person accounts, the Pakistani Embassy/Consulate, etc. and so on. I'd recommend watching a few movies and TV dramas to get the hang of it.

Has the girl in question moved back to Karachi, or is she still in your town?


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