A lot of people (AS or not) say that somebody will be talking to an Aspie and the Aspie is not listening, perhaps because the Aspie is doing something else and cannot listen to somebody speaking to them at the same time, or the Aspie is just lost in their own thoughts and is not paying attention to other people.
But I notice NTs do this a lot as well. It's mostly the cause of my social anxiety, because I often become afraid to tell somebody something because they might not listen, and I'll just be talking to myself.
The other evening me and my (NT) boyfriend had ordered chips from the chip shop. While we were waiting for the delivery, we were both in the kitchen and he was just setting the knives and forks up on the table, and I said, ''I will get the pepper out now, because I like having it on my chips.'' He didn't answer, but I assumed he heard, since I said it loudly and he is not hard of hearing. I know doesn't like pepper but he knows I do. Then when the chips came, my boyfriend suddenly said, ''you got the pepper out for some unknown reason, why did you get the pepper out?'' So I said, ''I told you already, I got it out ready to put on my chips'', and he said, ''oh'' as if to say ''oh, you never said''. So it was obvious that he somehow didn't listen to me say in advance that I was getting the pepper out.
I find most people do this. You say something to someone, loud and clear enough, and then moments later you find they haven't listened, because they were distracted by something else.
I always thought Aspies did that, and I thought NTs ears are always open (unless someone is deaf and someone else is mumbling). But I don't mumble or speak in monotone. Also I thought NTs could talk and listen over noise.
Perhaps the noise filters in their brains unintentionally filter out sounds they need to hear too sometimes, like somebody telling them something?
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Female
30 Jul 2015, 12:13 pm
