Starting to think my friends don't care

Post Reply New Topic

So I'm adjusting to life back in my hometown and maintaining friendships is difficult right now. My friends here are finding it hard to get used to me being around, which is understandable for many months at a time and I haven't made much effort to keep in touch when I was in uni. I expect things won't be the same as they used to be because, frankly, 3 years is enough time for people to change and that's fine.

I also know that my friends from uni have their own lives and aren't always going to be able to contact me or make plans.

It would just be nice if people actually told me their availability instead of ignoring events I've organised on Facebook.

It would also be nice if my so-called "friend" would actually tell me to my face why he unfriended me on facebook. I shouldn't have had to find out from another friend that it was over a trivial argument about gamergate, which I thought we were done with.

And what makes all of this worse is that he pretends like this animosity doesn't exist and that we're all buddies, but I just know he's been talking about me behind my back, even though I have always defended him even while he was being a jerk to me. I fear it won't be long before all of my friends decide that they want nothing to do with me.

I know I'm probably paranoid, but I sometimes feel like my friends don't really care and it makes me betrayed. I take my friendships seriously and it's gonna mess me up real bad knowing that these people I care about can't stand me.

It's probably my fault anyway.

I wouldn't worry too much about the guy who unfriended you on facebook. He's sounds like a phony to me. I have had people in my life do exactly just that.

As for your friends have you considered asking them if you have done anything to offend them? Also let them know that you are interested in reaching out and wanting to know about their lives. If not then you could try meet-up.com

Thing is, we were close friends and knew each other since we were teenagers. It feels like a slap in the face that something so trivial could end that.

I don't like to bring up stuff if I think they might get upset at me and I don't particularly like interrogating people at social occasions. My aspie friends tend to be more frank and honest to me if I've done anything wrong, but not all of them will actually address anything with me. That guy is an aspie, but he's f*****g terrible for passive agression.

My NT friends, simply put, like to "forget" that I'm not always good at reading their body language. A few of them are considerate, but I've had a few instances of people holding grudges, thinking I should just know what they're thinking. I know I can be somewhat abraisive
and extremely opinionated. I sometimes forget that not everybody like to talk about taboo topics or discuss controversial subjects. A few times, I've played devils advocate to see what someone's response will be. Sometimes I find myself tiptoeing around eggshells to placate people because their ideologies are so ingrained into their sense of self that if I criticize an aspect of it, they see it as an attack.

In fact, politics is one of the major things keeping me apart from my friends. I guess I'm something of an iconoclast, so people get mad no matter how much politically we have in common.

I'm sure this is all a rough patch. It's just very rough to me.

Also, I'm not so good with internet friendships.

Starting at your age especially it is hard to meet up with friends. Most people are in relationships and have a job or are looking for one, which leaves no time for friends pretty much. I see some of my old friends maybe once or twice a year.

Politics is always there too, its not uncommon to see friendships end and reform.

Yeah if you want to stick with some friends you really have to spend a lot of time with them and do favors for each other, but this will leave you with less time for other things. There is also the option of meetup as the other guy pointed out, I myself also am part of an athletic club where I always see the regulars there and we socialize.