attention narrowly focused her own interests

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So this is my third post. I'm not sure how to come off NOT being rude to this person I know with AS. I just can't stand it when she talks about herself ALL THE TIME. She never talks about anything else. All of her topics are surrounded by what she likes, what she does, what she doesn't like, what she can't eat. She is an expert on herself and she seems to not care about anyone else's feelings, or anyone else's life. She may ask how I'm doing, but there is not meaning behind the question. It is a dead question. She goes right back to focusing on herself. How do I tell her this and how can I help her focus on something else? She interrupts me all the time too. I have read up on AS. But I don't want to be rude to her telling her to "shut up" about talking about herself all the time.

Think of it as being straightforward, not rude. People with AS are bad with hints, and we appreciate it when you just tell us how something makes you feel.

Example: "When you talk constantly about yourself all the time, I feel bored, and it makes me feel like you don't care about me. Imagine if I just talked about myself constantly without letting you say anything, would you like that? I would like it if you gave me time to talk about the things that were on my mind too."

Don't be too quick to dismiss things as "empty questions": we have problems with non-verbal communication that means that things don't always come across right: e.g., we may be concerned about someone but due to asking in a monotone voice if they're ok it won't seem sincere.

We learn by illustrative examples.

I'm guessing this is the same person who you have posted about before. I read some of your pervious posts and it sounds like you need to be straightforward with them. You have to tell them what they are doing wrong, cuz they cannot pick up on social cues or "take the hint".

There are two things that you can do with her.

One thing to realize is that she might be physically older but emotionally younger which could come with emotional immaturity. It sounds like she needs guidance of a mentor right now along with exposure to new things. A lot of times she may not even be aware that she is doing it. I used to have the same problem and I do what I can stop myself and have concern for others.

It sounds like she needs to be taught basics if she wants to move on and make important networks as well as make friends. One thing never to do would ever be to tell someone to "Shut up" or scream "No" at them. In her case it might be wise to tell her politely "Give other people a chance to talk about themselves." You could also practice with her "That's great would you like to ask me about my interests?" Keep doing that with her which might open her mind up to new things as well. It will be a struggle in the beginning but in the long run it will pay off.

You could also practice teaching her to how ask others about their personal interests and then allowing her to listen.

Finally it sounds like she might need exposure to new things. So you give her a choice if she tries to refuse or protest. She might end up enjoying it.

Example: You get her tickets to a ballet and tell her "You can either stay for the first half of the show or for whole production."

Well you can hardy blame someone who's only had their own company for a very long time for being focused on self. What else do you focus on? As someone with AS I find it incredibly hard to find other people the least bit interesting. Not for want of trying, just because the conversations they have seem to be extremely narrowly focused and jump from topic to topic with seemingly no real logic about where it is going. It's difficult for me to follow and even harder for me to feign an interest in things like backstabbing, gossip and who likes whom and hates whoever. The result is that I have no traction in the NT community and to be honest, I'm really glad of that.

No NT I've ever met has any kind of real interest outside of their little personal drama's. It's exhausting listening to it, so I just switch off now.