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Fear
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13 Jan 2015, 12:42 pm

One time, this guy said to me that I try and be something i'm not to please other people

and another person, a close friend, a girl, said I put on a front and that really im scared

is there a correlation between the two? what does it mean to pretend to be something im not?



AspieUtah
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13 Jan 2015, 1:27 pm

Doesn't every human do this at least occasionally? People "act" differently when they are at the dentist, trying to get a loan at a bank, buying a car or with friends at a Superbowl party. So, why would it be so bad that we do too, and that others might notice it? A lot of people with AS or other ASDs use masking as a social support. I am pretty good at it, but I admit readily that I do it. The people in my life know this and appreciate my attempt to do it for their sake as well as mine, and not act as I would prefer (which I do sometimes when I am exhausted or fixated intently on other matters).


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downbutnotout
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13 Jan 2015, 5:47 pm

AspieUtah wrote:
Doesn't every human do this at least occasionally? People "act" differently when they are at the dentist, trying to get a loan at a bank, buying a car or with friends at a Superbowl party. So, why would it be so bad that we do too, and that others might notice it? A lot of people with AS or other ASDs use masking as a social support. I am pretty good at it, but I admit readily that I do it. The people in my life know this and appreciate my attempt to do it for their sake as well as mine, and not act as I would prefer (which I do sometimes when I am exhausted or fixated intently on other matters).


I think this is true, and "putting on a front" is just referring to something more extreme. Like presenting something completely different from who you really are instead of just changing your behavior to be more workplace-friendly, more likely to charm someone, etc. I associate it with someone who doesn't let any of their actual personality show.



kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2015, 8:14 pm

Sometimes, we must "put on a front." Otherwise, we'll probably get fired, our ass kicked, etc.

That's part and parcel of being a human animal.



Asperick
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16 Jan 2015, 3:04 am

Yeah everyone puts on front from time to time, but in this case their probably just picking up on continuity errors,and making bad guesses about whats going on in your head.


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Footballgirl2013
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16 Jan 2015, 12:39 pm

Fear wrote:
One time, this guy said to me that I try and be something i'm not to please other people [[[[[[and another person, a close friend, a girl, said I put on a front and that really im scared]]]]]]

is there a correlation between the two? what does it mean to pretend to be something im not?


Wow. You need to put in periods at the end of your sentence. When you begin a sentence you need a capital letter to show others that you are staring a new thought. When I read it, it made no sense to me.

So what this person was telling you (the guy) was that he could tell that you are not "being real" and that he could tell you were "faking it" to some extent. People can tell when you are lying or when you are not being true to yourself. Even if you were not saying anything verbally, people can take cues from your body language. Perhaps your body language was saying something loud and clear to this guy?

But since you didn't share the context of where you were with this guy or how long he knew you - or who this guy was (was he a close friend, a classmate perhaps?) it is hard to tell whether or not this guy really "knew you" or not. We all put on different "people". I "put on" a professional self when I go into job interviews. I'm not the exact same person when I'm in my shower singing. I have a funny side and a serious side.

Big picture is: don't take thing so personally. Whatever was said is probably more about them than it is about you.



Who_Am_I
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16 Jan 2015, 7:09 pm

Quote:
Wow. You need to put in periods at the end of your sentence. When you begin a sentence you need a capital letter to show others that you are staring a new thought. When I read it, it made no sense to me.


lol, and they say people with AS are rigid grammar freaks. It was perfectly comprehensible, sweetie.


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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I