"Giftedness" or whatever you want to call it

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I would like to know from those of you here who know are aware of being more "intelligent" than most people (not by any rigid definition, although being science-inclined would be more pertinent to my question perhaps), do you find it more difficult to have social interactions that you find satisfying?

Let me explain better. Since I started going to school I thought my lack of interest in people's topics of conversation was just due to the very different level of academical achievement. I thought it would get better when I was going to uni.
Now I'm studying medicine, and I still find that most of my course mates despise talking about science during our free time. Even the people in the lab I work at don't seem to have this much interest in scientific topics. So I am yet again stuck listening to super boring small talk and discussions about things I have no interest in. It's not that I'd hate talking about movies or music, if it weren't for the fact that my tastes are so different from those of the people I know. But having to completely avoid other topics I love and dumb myself down just for the sake of being more social than I was in high school is saddening me. I really thought scientists and med students would be more... nerdy
Do other "smarter than average people" have this problem too? Also, is it a requirement for you that your romantic partners have a similar level of academic success and "intelligence" as you?

(Note: I am not diagnosed with anything and I have no idea what my IQ is, but I've been described as gifted by a teacher and a psychiatrist.)

They might already spend a lot of time studying their topics and want a break from it, and movies are an easy thing to default to. That's the first thing I think of, though even after 40 pages of hardware reading I'm not likely to be tired of hearing about it. Are they interested in any other topics you bring up?

Offline is easier than online for me when it comes to finding intelligent discussion, but I attend classes where it's very easy to find people who are not only interested in technology but experienced in it to some degree. They're all people who play video games, build computers, run servers at home, etc. If I don't like my classmates, my instructors are usually fascinating and have long stories behind them. One of my woman instructors comes from a family just like mine, although I think she might originally be from Russia.

You'll never get three people of a different political orientation talking on most forums, but it's happened to me on campus. I don't even post in PPR here anymore because every potentially interesting thread devolves into mud-slinging within a the first few pages (with all non-inflammatory posts totally ignored), and then I start to nod off while looking for something interesting...

You need to find special interest organizations to meet your social needs, and I'm not talking about MENSA.

A garden club might not do it--but a highly specialized club, such as one for orchid or rose experts, may meet your needs.

Over the last 10 years, I've had a much easier time socializing with ordinary people, but judging from what I've read on this forum, I may also be exceptional in this regard.

I've learned to avoid making the faux paus of the gifted. While waiting in the checkout line I can casually calculate and get the exact change for my purchase for lunch. When the cashier says, well, you must come here a lot the proper answer is to agree with them! This is no time to correct someone!

Small talk amongst people I know consists of pretty much nothing but the academic, conceptual & creative elements of the modern condition. I'm not an academic, though pretty much my entire family is. I'm really into science although I'm a self-trained technologist. I've been pondering going to college for about a year now but I'm simply in too much demand technically for the moment. Most days when I try to speak English it ends up full of hacker slang and/or scientific Latin.

Yeah... I pretty much only get along with girls who are smarter than me. It's just another one of those cursed gifts, particularly when almost everyone I know is in school. Small talk with me is really hit or miss, I stick to the most widely relevant stuff I can.

There is a difference between being intelligent and being a bookworm. Someone can be smart but doesn't have to enjoy talking about science more than necessary.
However you are right. It's easier to get along with people who are in similar intelligence range.

The guy I get along the best at school has exactly the same IQ as I do (128 in WAIS-IV scale) and we rarely speak about anything science related or at least not in the lecture type of way. When we do we for example laugh at how computer freezes when we install a program (IT school, we often install something) and wonder what kind of virus is attached. More often though we talk about random stuffs like job interviews, university, the weather, anime or simply food, stairs, a sound behind the window etc. There is however some different kind of conversation going on even when we talk about normal stuffs compared to the conversation I have with other people. We get what we mean pretty fast and we have similar sense of humor.

But I can't say I don't like talking with others. I find it fun to explain stuffs and wonder why people can't get what I mean. I also don't mind some chit-chat. I can listen when my average friend talks about her kids and she listens when I talk about my cat... oh, well... but she is 115 IQ so I guess she is still smarter than the norm. Come to think of it I wonder if I ever befriended anyone who is average or below average. With people who are less smart I tend to make a "student-teacher" relationship instead of simply being friends.

I find it very difficult to talk with people at length who are not extremely intelligent. It makes me feel like a jerk.

I want to talk about things in my own field with other professionals, but many are not even on the same page with me. It was a shock when I went to college and found that people I was in class with in my major were struggling to pass a class I was acing without studying.

I get along with people by not talking and "agreeing" and not explaining things, as some others here have mentioned. I also have learned that correcting people is rude, so I've stopped that.

Looking back on my life, though, I am not sure that my problem is purely due to intelligence. I think it is more AS-related. Other people, even a friend who got a perfect score on the SAT, had much more social grace than I did and was able to interact with all kinds of people and participate in small talk without trouble. He got jokes, too. A lot of other really smart kids, probably some smarter than me, had much better social skills.

Giftedness has been blamed for a lot of problems. And I don't think that is it. It just may be that some of us with a high-IQ are prone to be Autistic.

I am way too intense. I like very deep conversations about ideas. I don't get these very often. I usually find them among other very intelligent people, if at all.

When I was 4 or 5, I scored 140+ on the IQ test.

I know what you mean by intense. Brain waves that could shift the magnetosphere. Dreaming in code. Reasoning exclusively via paradoxes.

Have an Ehug.

The thing is, my tastes are a little (a lot) different from those of the people I know. Here is an example of a conversation I had last week:
Classmate: "What did you do on new year's eve?"
Me: "Hmm, I went to watch big hero six with my sister"
"Oh, but isn't that a cartoon? I went to see *insert random stereotypical Italian christmas movie*. How do you like that new Tiziano Ferro album?"
"Oh. I don't really watch Italian movies, nor listen to Italian music. The last Italian movie I saw was La Grande Bellezza."
"Uh. That one made me fall asleep in, like, five minutes..."
"..."
"..."

Like I said, I don't need to talk about scientific or intellectual topics all the time, I have other interests as well, but I can't seem to find anyone to talk about anything other than reality tv (which I don't watch) or other people.

Sports is the great ice-breaker.

Politics: maybe. It does inflame people's passions, though--so there's much fodder for a substantive discussion. Just avoid those who engage in one-sided diatribe, though.

If I feel superior to someone in intelligence, I never show signs that I feel like I'm superior. That would turn off the other person, immediately. That's the great conversation stopper--and makes people avoid you.

I used to be able to relate to other moms, when all our kids were elementary-school-aged or younger and hadn't developed their own interests yet.

But, as my kids grew older (also "gifted" both in intelligence and talent and intensely obsessive about their interests), I found I could no longer talk about my kids with anyone. Anytime I open my mouth, its going to sound like I am bragging. I can't even talk about some of the problems that having super-smart, super-talented kids bring. It's like "first world problems" of a brain sort. Other people will just think, "Oh, right, YOU have difficulties. How about having a kid that's finding it hard to pass a class?"

I can't relate to anything "popular". I rarely watch movies, and if I do they are foreign, documentaries, history-based, or something else not typical. I don't watch TV. I don't listen to the radio. I like what I like. If someone wants to get to know me and let me get to know them, and we can just discover each others' interests, that's fine. But if someone expects me like what they like or only talk about what they want to talk about, it's not going to happen.

I can't even talk about books I've read. Over the last year, I heard many moms & girls recommend the book, "The Fault in Our Stars". So, my daughter and I read it over the summer. We hated it (apologies to any of you who loved it.) In comparison, over the summer I also read "Wild Swans", a 800+ page book about three generations of women living in communist China under Chairman Mao. (Fascinating book, BTW.) After that, I read Anna Karenina.

Thank God that my family and I can relate. That is what is saving my sanity.

My son watches a lot of Twilight Zone (yay for Netflix!). But, that is not normal for a 16yr old... See what I am saying?

Only if you watch sports...

If it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't even know the Patriots are in the running for the Superbowl, and that is not wise for someone living in my area!

In my world, NOT talking about sports is an indicator that I might get along with someone! (Not that I can't get along with someone who watches sports, just that a non-sports watcher may be a special someone.) My husband does not watch sports at all.

I should probably specify that I'm not racist towards Italians, I am Italian

kraftiekortie, I try not to act superior either because
a) I could very well misjudge people
b) being more intelligent doesn't mean being a better person in general
c) my self esteem is actually pretty low.
I really hope my problem is not that I act superior because I really don't feel that way.

nerdygirl, you are so lucky to have a family with a similar intellectual inclination. My family didn't love it when I used to ramble on (pre-autistic traits awareness) about things they have no interest in or don't understand

You seem pretty cool. Maybe they have some lectures where you are located?

I am very, very blessed to have the family I have.

I get teased plenty, though. And I get reminded many times by my husband to not discuss music theory with him before he's had a cup of coffee in the morning, and to not talk to loud...

However, there's plenty of teasing to go around for all members of the family. We find (and make) a lot of reasons to laugh.

I think people use the vernacular mode to hide their true intelligence at times.

Perhaps....if you find something in the "reality" program which might be pertinent to some philosophical concept, maybe you could address it. It might bring a person with this sort of proclivity out.