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InfoPunkie
Snowy Owl
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06 Feb 2015, 1:55 pm

So, it's my birthday today and I'm mulling something over. Why is it that people don't care if a thank you is genuine or not, this is mostly about my family, but others too.

I can give genuine thank yous but for me they must be alone with that person as giving a thank you when there are lots of people around or it's not a calm environment for me, for instance receiving a present (I get embarrassed), means nothing to me and it's not genuine coming from me in that situation either, yet people insist I do it.

I just do not understand. Do people not want genuine thank yous? Would they rather just get it out of the way then and there or something?



arielhawksquill
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06 Feb 2015, 5:16 pm

You are correct, people do not care how genuine your thanks are as long as the social ritual is performed. If you can't bring yourself to say the formulaic words when given a gift, you portray yourself to be someone who is ungrateful to everyone who witnesses that exchange. Is "ungrateful" your authentic self? Sometimes we have to outwardly PERFORM our inner nature if we want to be perceived as we really are; other humans can't see inside our souls.



InfoPunkie
Snowy Owl
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06 Feb 2015, 5:42 pm

With me, it's obvious that my thanks mean nothing in that situation though, so they really would prefer me to just say that magic words even though it's obvious I don't mean them. Seems odd, but, okay.



downbutnotout
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06 Feb 2015, 6:55 pm

I see it more as an indication of a lack of hostility to thank someone whether or not you enjoy the gift. It shows goodwill and appreciation for the thought, effort, money, or time. As long as the tone isn't hostile, that is. Silence is easier to interpret as someone just being angry or looking down on your gift.



InfoPunkie
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 29 Oct 2014
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06 Feb 2015, 7:03 pm

Oh, no, I enjoy most gifts, it's just the thank you part I find hard unless I'm alone with that person. The difference is quite clear as to how I say thank you genuinely to how I say it when I'm stressed/overwhelmed/embarrassed.

But I see your points, thanks, so basically it doesn't matter as long as my tone is neutral whether I mean it or not, just that it's said.