Got to hang out with NTs

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I got asked to dinner and really, really wish I hadn't gone. It was an hour of me staring off into space because the conversation centred around useless trivia. Endless stuff like....

'Oh I love that too....' And one of them constantly giving me sideways glances of contempt because I failed to give a toss about such and such TV program and hair products. I just kept thinking to myself....what a waste of human life is this is all you guys think about.

My God wanted to kill myself and only too happy when we all went home again. Will never make that mistake again, every time I think I'm missing out on something with the friends thing I get reminded of why I'm really not. The only good thing about it was that it was Indian food and delicious. Can't get enough spice!

You have the wrong set of friends IMHO. You'd do better if you attended lectures sponsored by some university.

Probably but I can't be arsed to be honest. I only took up this invitation because I was hungry and liked the opportunity to eat somewhere other than my hotel room. But it still annoyed me that I had to politely sit and listen to this crap. Lesson learnt, next time I'll eat in the hotel room, maybe get the same food delivered. It's just easier than subjecting myself to NT nonsense.

I've been in this situation many times before. Its pretty much why I avoid all social gatherings if possible nowadays.

I sympathise. There are many boring social situations where I find myself fantasising about ending it all there and then in some spectacularly gruesome and inventive way. I usually focus on the food or one person who I like. I remind myself that it will be over soon and that actual torture would in no way be difficult after this experience. I would try to maintain friendly relations as people really do take it personally if you avoid them all the time.

I know how you feel. None of these people think the way we do. Rather our brains are designed to get things done and invent things. I don't mind NTs but I know I will never be one and that's fine. I like who I am and how I think. You should too.

What kinds of things do you like?

Buddhist meditation, yoga, martial arts
Gardening, specifically permaculture
Kitty cats and cat psychology/behaviour
Tarot, I use Brian Froud's faerie decks as well as traditional, Astrology, the occult in all forms including magick
Cooking, sewing, making stuff from found objects
Metalwork, I love working with copper and silver mostly
Etc...

In fact it's probably easier to list the things that bore me, there aren't many but they include

Politics
Philosophy, intellectualising the s**t out of stuff just for the sake of it.
Who did what at who's party
Hair products, beauty products, brands of shoes
Celebrities and whatever crap they happen to be endorsing this week

Got to hangout with neurotypicals

one small step for aspies, one giant leap for aspie kind.

Probably bad advice, but in those situations I hijack the conversation to something I like at the earliest opportunity. It's easier if you can isolate one of the people next to you in a one-on-one while the rest are talking about some inane reality show or whatever, and then find any in to talk about something worthwhile. You have a ton of interests, so odds are that would be easy for you.

The trick is the ebb and flow of the conversation to get it to the good stuff, when they're geeking out about it as much as you are. I think of it like the clicking through the banal parts of dialogue in a video game (like "Dragon Age") until you can get them to talk about the thing you want. Like, if I wanted to talk about Buddhism, I would find a pretext to introduce a mainstream topic -- yoga -- into the conversation (many ways to do that -- they might bring it up even) and then segue from there, leading the conversation closer to, like, the differences between monastic life in big wheel and little wheel Buddhist traditions or whatever my interest was. (Actually, it is that. That is such a cool topic and surprisingly fun to talk about it, if you have a willing conversation partner who has traveled or wants to travel to Thailand, where you can see some of it on the streets.)

Then the real danger is to keep yourself from dominating the conversation. So, so hard. I just want to download into them and I have to remember they might want to speak, too (have to watch for the boredom signals). I try really hard to be engaging and fun, but sometimes it does become a too-polished one-woman show or TED Talk.

But it's honestly so much work to get that process seeming organic that I really, REALLY prefer eating alone. It's so awesome. Though I do have a few friends that geek out as much as I do on the same topics and that, too, is awesome.