Why do people hate talking to me?

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I try and talk to people and it never works they just talk to everyone else except me or they call me nosey for even trying.

I'm starting to hate myself. What did I do to become the least likeable person in the world? I want friends.

Hi there,

If people are calling you things like nosey then those people just aren't worth bothering with. I know this from experience myself.

Don't start hating yourself for it. Keep persevering and keep positive and you will eventually make some friends. There are decent people out there and you will find them eventually.

If people are calling you things like 'nosey' then it's likely because you ask personal questions.

I'm allowed to.

But seriously, they don't mind asking each other personal questions, it's only when I do it it's bad.

How do you let someone know you want to get to know them so they actually do tell you about themselves, but in a tactful way? Like do I have to trick them into opening up to me? It's ridiculous.

do the others that ask each other that know each other better, and/or for longer?

if so, that's probably why they'd be less comfortable sharing with you...yet i wonder what you mean by "i'm allowed to"?

Rather than offer advice I think you should view some of the excellent videos on this site, which workshop the art of conversation, including when to join in a conversation and what to talk about when you join a conversation. Unfortunately people won't want to get to know you if you come across too strongly initially.

That's a really good idea to watch the videos, thank you.

I came here for the forum so never really thought to check out the rest of the site. I will now.

yeah, the forum probably eats up 97% of site traffic i came here for the forum, as well.

i'm sure there's some people out there that like having others be so enthusiastic about having to meet them, but i don't now of a whole lot...or any really off the top o' my head.

Learning to interact socially with NTs is important, I agree. It takes a lot of practice and concerted effort, and a key to leaning to enter conversations and engage in group settings, in my experience, is to understand the role that nonverbal cues play in NT social interactions. We tend to not only be unaware of nonverbal cues in others, but we also don't tend to produce these same cues ourselves in the same ways that NTs do.

And I think this also gets to your original question of WHY people don't seem to enjoy talking with you. I know I shared this same frustration for many, many years, and it was only after I began to understand the role of nonverbal cues (eye contact, facial expressions, body language, etc) that I began to understand why other people reacted so differently to me than they did to others. Just coming to this realization can be a huge relief, in a way - so that you understand that you are not crazy and the universe isn't conspiring against you

The thing is, NTs are, for the most part, unaware of how much they rely on nonverbal communication. They just sense something is "off" or, worse yet, they subconsciously interpret your behavior as being rude, disinterested, etc. So try not to take it personally when NTs don't always react the same way towards you as they do towards others - they've quite possibly just misinterpreted your nonverbal cues without even realizing they have done so.

While it's not likely we are ever going to fully master the art of nonverbal communication, we definitely can improve our skill set, and just being aware of the problem can be an important first step in learning to socialize.

I just feel so hopeless and alone.

I know that good etiquette dictates I should only enter a conversation when I can add something meaningful but I almost never can. Even if I have some relevant life experience to draw on it only seems to come to mind after I've missed my chance.