OK to go on a cruise alone, but not other vacations. Why?

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I went on a cruise two years in a row, by myself both times (known as "solo" in the cruise community). Despite feeling like I'm doing something crazy and dangerous---going on a cruise by myself---I got nothing but positive reactions from 99% of people I met. I managed to make friends very easily, and even find a romantic interest by day 2. All despite practically expecting to be bullied. The cruise was so good, that it sent me into an existential crisis that took me months to come out of, since my regular life was quite difficult and dreary, because of my job at the time. The whole time on the cruise, no one thought anything negative about me cruising alone. People treated me with the same respect they would have given me if I came with a group of friends or a girlfriend. Word got around that I was solo, and a few good-looking girls even got into my pictures, when a DJ told them to. Wow! Not only did they agree to be in a photo with a stranger, they presumably trusted me to not misinterpret the cuddly picture pose as romantic interest.

This doesn't seem true for virtually all other types of vacations (excluding singles' trips). All types: lakes houses, ski resorts, beaches, destination spas, camping, Disney World, everything! Well, maybe a man can get away with going to a ski resort alone under the pretext of practicing for a tournament, and a woman can get away with going to a spa alone because it's such a female-oriented activity. But other than that, you MUST have someone join you, no exceptions! If you break that unwritten rule, you'll be ostracized as "that person by him- or herself". The stigma seems to be even stronger for men than for women: imagine what kind of reaction a man by himself will get at Disney World!

This raises the question: What IS IT about cruises that makes it OK to go on them alone, with little or no stigma, while making that same action a big social taboo for all other vacation types? Is it the ship itself, that subconsciously feels like a vehicle, not unlike a city bus (its size be damned), rather than a location? After all, there is no stigma on taking a bus alone, and this attitude get carried over to a ship. But why else? Anyone who had experiencing vacationing alone, on a cruise or otherwise, please share!

Define destination - I don't think I've ever heard of a stigma about going to a sporting event alone. in fact, it's sort of the extension of the whole "man cave" idea where that's your personal enjoyment space. But, perhaps I don't understand waht a 'destination vacation" is. (Even then, if you phrase it as, "I'm going to see the Pirates play, oh, and while I'm here I'll take in the other sites too" - that wouldn't be as odd to most.)

I think some of it has to do with the how NTs do learn some stuff (like how to behave at a bar) from TV even though they've never been in one themselves except for seeing it on "Cheers." "Love Boat" wasn't all couples going on those cruises. So, while "vacation" does tend to imply, to some at least (didn't realize it was that many) that you go with family, people have seen plenty of singles on cruises.

Part, too, is that cruises are things some people associate with older, retired people - or younger - who either never married or who lost a spouse and are jsut doing it to get away. They're for richer people than most, so the idea of the rich bachelor or bachelorette just spending their money how they please is there.

Those are my guesses, anyway. I know when my parents pass away in however many years, I'll probably take trips to the beach where we always went alone, but that'll be someplace i always went with them so it won't seem as odd.

There are people who globe trot alone, sometimes for their year out. It is a confidence thing.

I think cruses the culture is well understood. It is an all inclusive atmosphere. Personally it is not my thing, but each to their own.

You have to be more confident and not self conscious to immerse yourself.

Even all inclusive holidays, in other countries, it is still to the level of courses, where literally everything is done for you (if you want). It can be but you pay more.

Also this soling on cruses, I have heard of people doing it where I come from. But I wasn't aware of it being more acceptable. So maybe this is a differnce.

"All inclusive" is right. Cruise passengers are quite used to seeing people from all walks of life. One guy in the group I made friends with even said something that made me think: "You know, if you go with friends or your girlfriend, you give each other a safety net, and don't feel a real need to meet others. But if you go by yourself, there is no safety net; you have to put yourself out there and meet new people so you don't feel lonely. And that can be the best part of your cruise." This was said despite the fact that I was the only solo in the group; everyone else came with someone. I countered with "when you're right, you're right!" and raising my beer, causing everyone else to follow suit.

All-inclusive resorts are anything but solo-friendly, actually. Most are marketed toward couples and families. Some, like the romantic Sandals chain, actually require you to come only as a couple, and in fact, only recently started allowing gays and lesbians. Its family-oriented sister chain Beaches does not allow solos, either, as far as I know.

I noticed you're from the UK. European culture in general seems very solo-friendly. The US, not so much, due to its Puritanical roots. But cruises are one place the Noah's Ark mentality (paired up, male and female) goes out the window, and anyone can have fun, coupled-up or otherwise.

There really is no actual stigma in going someplace alone, but when you go someplace alone that is a usual vacation spot for couples you may feel that it's a stigma. When you feel out of place you tend to perceive others looks as hostile or condescending, and other types of incorrect perceptions. Going to a couples or group type vacation spot alone will make you somewhat stand out, so it's easy to feel that way no matter how secure you would be otherwise.

On a cruise there are more people going alone, and there are also group activities that people can join together and separately and they seat people in groups for meals and all of this tends to give everything an "all in this together" type feel. Because of how things are set up on a cruise, you are basically forced to interact with others if you want to do more than lay on deck and read or sunbathe and eat alone in your room. The activities are part of the appeal of a cruise, and everything is set up to make everyone feel comfortable whether they come alone or in a couple or group. That isn't so for most other vacations.

I used to think that one of the great benefits of not having children is not being dragged to Disney parks.

A week or so ago there were some shows about the various Disney parks on some channel on satellite tv. I had them on when working without paying much attention to them, but something grabbed my attention. Disney has a cruise ship with on which there are a number of activities geared for adults or even for adults only!

By the way, my best vacation ever was a couple of years after I graduated with a MS in Mathematics. I took a week off and went back to the university and hung out at the Math Department for a week. It kind of confused some of the profs when I suddenly showed up for a departmental seminar.

I'll echo what OliveOilMom said. I think the OP is really overplaying that "stigma of going alone" thing. Maybe the cruise is the first thing he ever got up the courage to do alone? Don't blame all those other activities just because you didn't give them a try. The only place an adult alone MIGHT not be welcome is a destination aimed at children (LEGOland comes to mind.)

However, if what you like is prearranged scripted activities that force you to interact, you might also like package tours, or workshops or conferences aimed at your special interests.

Some places I would consider going on vacation, few would be likely to even recognize me as being on vacation.

For example, I think it would be interesting to go to New York City for a few days. What I would particularly like to visit are The Strand (an enormous used bookstore in New York City said to have very extensive selections on just about any subject) and Washington Square Park (where some people have carved out their own form of job for themselves playing chess for money against challengers (see picture below)).



The Strand Bookstore, http://www.strandbooks.com/, claims to have 18 miles of books. That might take a few days to work through. I saw a report a year or two ago that they have installed sprinklers around the outside of the store that turn on intermittently during the night to discourage street people from living under the awning.

Another thing that would be interesting is to visit Rockefeller University. For those who aren't familiar with it, Rockefeller University is a rather unusual school that as I understand it only offers two degrees - a PhD in certain hard sciences and an MD in conjunction with Columbia University. I think that they typically have something like 120 students at any one time, all the cream of the crop in their fields and completely without tuition and fees. I wonder if the general public is permitted to attend their seminars.

Last edited by eric76 on 28 Jan 2015, 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is big generalisation and not really true of the UK.

I think there is difference from some stigma/and taboo though. There isn't really a taboo.

In England, I assume that a cruise on the canal system would probably need at least two people so that one can hop off and open the gates at the locks while the other guides the boat through.

Is that true?



How easy would it be for a single to do both himself, especially if new at it?

When things don't go well when cruising on a narrowboat:

I found the story on this from http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-26662982:

I bet you'd definitely need two people for this series of locks:

Not easy at all. Only go solo is you are experienced. If you are going solo, you need the key in to start the engine quickly if something goes wrong. Only open one sluice or only partly open the two. You need to go slow, even for lock standards.

Some locks are narrow, so they keep you lined up. But most lock allow two narrow boats, or a broad boat. That means keeping the boat steady can be an issue. It will end up diagonal.

I recommend three or four to do it efficiently as a beginner.

I like going on a barge holidays (I never call them cruses) that I prefer board barges to narrow boats, has better bedrooms and mod con generally.

lol that would never work anyway. It needs to be re-photoshoped to put space between the locks.