Topics you can discuss with new friend?

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

teksla
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 783

09 Dec 2015, 2:41 pm

Hello.
I have not been active here a lot for a while. In school i have acquired a new friend. He has social difficulties too. I have agreed to eat lunch with him tomorrow. Any suggestions on topics i would be able to bring up (we are both 15)?
All suggestions are appreciated!


_________________
Diagnosed with
F84.8 (PDD-NOS) 2014
F33.1 Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent, moderate.


nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

09 Dec 2015, 2:53 pm

Anything about school - subjects, classmates, teachers (that you both have in common), what is he doing for the Christmas holiday. If you just met him, then ask him about his hobbies, if he has siblings, what things does he usually do on the weekends (then you two can get together and do those), books, movies (this is a big topic), tv shows, video games. I'd come up with more, but you don't want to bombard him at your first outing.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


teksla
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 783

09 Dec 2015, 4:29 pm

nurseangela wrote:
Anything about school - subjects, classmates, teachers (that you both have in common), what is he doing for the Christmas holiday. If you just met him, then ask him about his hobbies, if he has siblings, what things does he usually do on the weekends (then you two can get together and do those), books, movies (this is a big topic), tv shows, video games. I'd come up with more, but you don't want to bombard him at your first outing.

Okay. Thank you. The lunch is nothing official, we just agreed to eat at the same table at the school lunch. i will try to remember those topics. hope it goes well


_________________
Diagnosed with
F84.8 (PDD-NOS) 2014
F33.1 Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent, moderate.


mistersprinkles
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 11 Feb 2015
Posts: 182
Location: Toronto Canada

09 Dec 2015, 6:19 pm

I used to try to plan conversations in advance like you are doing now. It does not end well. Conversation should be a natural flowing thing. It's not a general meeting for a condo management board, it's a conversation with a friend. It should just flow naturally. Don't plan it out. Just go there, get your lunch, sit down with this person and make a comment of some sort to try to get the ball rolling. Anything. "What video games do you play" or "School sucks" or whatever you think of. Or maybe the other person will beat you to it. Just remember not to say anything negative about yourself, your friend, or anybody else at school. You don't want to be seen as a negative person and in high school rumors are so easy to start. Conversations are much simpler when you're 15 so you shouldn't get all nervous about it. If this other person has social difficulties it is possible that they are also worried about what to say tomorrow. That shouldn't be what friendship is about. It is supposed to be enjoyable, not a cause for worry or headaches. Just let the conversation flow naturally. Don't worry about being awkward because odds are that they will be awkward too. Just let it flow dude. You'll be fine. Trust me. If you really want to have an ice breaker planned, the best thing I can suggest is to start the convo by discussing what hobbies and interests you both have, then talking about a mutual interest. Hopefully it'll be a bottomless topic like computers and technology and that way you guys can just discuss that indefinitely until somebody changes the subject.



looniverse
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 19 Oct 2015
Age: 46
Posts: 233
Location: Saint Paul

11 Dec 2015, 9:08 am

My biggest advice is to listen.

People give off clues about themselves ALL the time. If you pay attention, it's not hard to keep a conversation going.

Another thing I learned is most people like to talk about themselves, a lot. If you ever get stuck, just ask them about themselves, or ask them to say more about a point/idea they already introduced.

That way you learn a lot about that person and about people in general, too. It makes every next encounter easier, too.