Why do you need friends?

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Just wondering because I don't really understand this. What is the purpose of having friends?
Also, how do you know when someone is your friend? At what point do they magically click over from being someone you know to the next stage in the relationship?

Friends provide you with someone to talk to about your feelings and someone to laugh and have fun with. They just provide you with a sense of belonging and being loved.

As for your second question, I can't answer that. I've been wondering the same thing myself.

For somebody to talk to other than yourself.

For companionship when you desire it.

For someone to confide in--To allow you to vent without being judged.

To (rarely) help you out with practical things should you be unable to do the practical thing.

To play ball with--to play games with--to kid around with.

Friends are merely a luxury of ones geographical location and time. There are two kinds of friends, those you laugh with and those you can cry with. You don't really need friends that you can laugh with, but they can be nice to be around and make life more entertaining. Interests and humor type just need to overlap enough. The other kind friends you can confide in is a bit different. You hopefully begin life with a few already, those in your family. If you're lucky you can make more and they basically become an extension of your own personal family group. Basically your spouse and any other close confidants. Basically people that are "friends" of the family. You can count on them in most situations. Both are merely dependent on one's personal needs and are hopefully not lacking from ones family they were born to or have created.

^ Yeah, that's something like what the ladies at the program said. I just don't think it's going to happen. I keep telling them I don't need friends but they keep saying things like, "everyone needs friends" and banging on about how wonderful these non-existent friends are.
If I haven't needed friends in the last 20 years, why would I need them now?

It depends on what you define as a friend, to me friends are a mini community. I realised who were my genuine friends when I went through a rough patch, it would have been easier for them to be distant, but they weren't. And I would not have got through it all without outside support, family are great if they are in a good place, but what happens when their lives fall apart at the same time as yours? Granted some people are lucky enough to make it through life without that happening to them.

If you have a large closely knit family then possibly you will not need to seek others, but that can be an insular experience of life. Friends introduce new ways of being, different perspectives and opportunities for experiences that a person might not otherwise discover.

To me the issue is reciprocation in kind, and how a person meets those expectations can make or break a friendship. Is it fair to the other person when they experience pressure and seek my support, that unless I am in a good place I sometimes can not deliver?

You could try to "deliver" as a friend--but, sometimes, a solution to any problem is just not in the cards, and probably for reasons beyond your control.

I don't expect anybody to "deliver" for me. I'm pretty self-reliant. I'm appreciative when somebody does "deliver" for me (it doesn't happen too often, and I'm glad for that, because this means I'm not too needy)--but if somebody is not able to, I don't feel bitter towards that person. It "just wasn't in the cards."

One cannot move a mountain, especially if the mountain doesn't want to be moved.

Because I will eventually feel lonely without friends and because I love my friends

Why do I need friends? Because I might need ...

... Someone to explain to strangers that I'm just having a bad day.

... Someone to play chess or poker with.

... Someone to take over driving on those five-hour trips to Las Vegas.

... Someone to let me know when I'm dominating a conversation with my special interests.

... Someone to watch out for pick-pockets when I'm paying for lunch at the food truck.

... Someone to run errands for me when I'm in the hospital.

... Someone to care enough to remember my birthday.

... Someone to care enough to identify my body at the morgue.

... Someone to say, "Nice to see you again", and really mean it.

Perhaps "deliver" was too crude a word, I had a small group of good friends, long term ones, I don't anymore. They were there for me when my life was in turmoil, but I was unable to reciprocate in any meaningful way for a prolonged period and they got sick of that and moved on.

I wasn't criticizing your use of the term "deliver" at all.

Many good people have expectations that friends "deliver" for them. It's akin to being reciprocal. Some people have too much expectations when it comes to having things "delivered" for them.

My feeling is: if a basically good person has trouble reciprocating, then I think the person needs me to "deliver," and to help him/her in reciprocate at a later date (the reciprocation does not have to involved lending me money, or doing some "favor" for me, by the way). I expect nothing in return--except not to be attacked for attempting to "deliver." When I offer well-meaning advice, and I get attacked, I can get pretty pissed.