Is it possible to form an activity group with no friends?

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downbutnotout
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02 Mar 2015, 2:09 pm

So to keep myself busy I've been thinking about forming a few activity groups on campus, such as a laid-back chess club or writing group. They would at least be opportunities to socialize with like minds, and maybe make a few new friends. I've done a little reading, and all the resources suggest having a core group of friends to start with.

Problem is...

I have no friends and no way to make friends right now. There are no nearby groups for what I want to do where I could potentially meet some friends first, and to backtrack that's the advice that would be given if I were looking to join one - to attend one I like in the first place without expectations. I feel like I've exhausted the opportunities in the classroom already this semester, unless something changes on its own down the road.

I'm trying to keep going and make plans to drum up interest, but it's just disadvantage after disadvantage and I wish I could be on neutral ground for once in my life. Any ideas how to generate interest in these things? I'll be asking my own questions about what I need to start these groups later, but I'd like to go in with a couple ideas of what my next move after that will be.



0_equals_true
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02 Mar 2015, 4:15 pm

It is possible, not a walk in the park though.

When you say there is nothing available are you talking about within the University? Or wider?

As you may benefit from using what is available, becuase learning about social interaction is more valuable, and organising something social obviously involves some social skill. However sometimes other skill can compensate. I'm not good at networking, but have used other skill to find people who might be interested.

How are people organising them the moment? In UK there are "socs" or university societies. I think those need a certain number of signatures, to get official status. They showcase clubs and societies to freshers at the begining of the year. I'm not sure of the distinction between clubs and societies, but I guess you are looking for something informal. Is there a notice board that list activities?

Is there a notice board that list activities, and general student life? Is there a forum for student for your university?



0_equals_true
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02 Mar 2015, 4:38 pm

If there is a forum, for your university, or for student in your area the approach I would use is to be honest. Say you don't know anyone, and wanted to form a small social group with x interests.

If you can use a notice board, write simple message in large print like

LOOKING
TO JOIN
A SOCIAL GROUP?


I'm hoping to form a small relaxed social club,
with the following activities:
Board games, creative writing, etc.
If you are interested contact [name] at [email].


You could be more specific in you tagline

LIKE WRITING,
FICTION,
BOARD GAMES?


I'm hoping to form a small relaxed social club.
If you are interested contact [name] at [email].


Probably the second is better becuase it is targeted, and succinct.

Use an an anonymous email/temporary phone number. You can put that on the poster you can also pint it several time vertically an cut in between, so they can rip them off. These pages do get covered over especially on public boards to go back often to ensure it is tacked an visible.

If you do get interest use common sense for your personal safety, think about where you are going to meet. I.e a public area.



Last edited by 0_equals_true on 02 Mar 2015, 4:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

SocOfAutism
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02 Mar 2015, 4:41 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
If there is a forum, for your university, or for student in your area the approach I would use is to be honest. Say you don't know anyone, and wanted to form a small social group with x interests.

If you can use a notice board, write simple message in large print like

LOOKING
TO JOIN
A SOCIAL GROUP?


I'm hoping to form a small relaxed social club,
with the following activities:
Board games, creative writing, etc.
If you are interested contact [name] at [email].


Use an an anonymous email/temporary phone number. You can put that on the poster you can also pint it several time vertically an cut in between, so they can rip them off. These pages do get covered over especially on public boards to go back often to ensure it is tacked an visible.

If you do get interest use common sense for your personal safety, think about where you are going to meet. I.e a public area.


^All of this. Exactly.



downbutnotout
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02 Mar 2015, 4:46 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
It is possible, not a walk in the park though.

When you say there is nothing available are you talking about within the University? Or wider?


Both. There are a handful of groups on campus, none of which interest me. I don't feel there'd be much point in attending. I'm unlikely to have a good experience, let alone make new friends, if I just don't value what's drawing everyone else in. I think people can tell, and I don't appreciate people pretending to care about the things I like for other purposes myself.

The few that aren't a long drive into the city but are on Meetup.com either don't interest me or only meet at times I can't make.

0_equals_true wrote:
As you may benefit from using what is available, becuase learning about social interaction is more valuable, and organising something social obviously involves some social skill. However sometimes other skill can compensate. I'm not good at networking, but have used other skill to find people who might be interested.


I socialize during class and at work right now, and that plus these groups would be my learning opportunities.

I've spent years learning already with books, articles, videos, Skype chats, and practice. If my social skills are atrocious, no one complains and no one can give me feedback on where I'm going wrong. I've showed ignored e-mails to multiple NTs because I was concerned I might inadvertently have come across as pushy when I was simply trying to be straightforward and not waste their time, but no one thought so. Analyzing too much just makes me tired and too fearful to speak.

I've gone to motivational workshops on campus where I did exercises with total strangers involving sharing our immediate thoughts of who we were and who we wanted to be, and they responded positively to me and happily wished me well when we left. I've done many, many things I used to be afraid of, but more often than not doors close instead of open. I think I'm sensible, compassionate, and polite, and that's really all I as a human being can do. I don't try to hurt people, I try to forgive if I judged someone too quickly, and I try to approach relationships genuinely instead of pretending to be what I'm not. I try not to just focus on myself.

I don't know why people would greet me in the hallways and chat with me in coffee shops if I'm truly horrible enough to deserve this. But I live with this fear that everyone sees something ugly in me that I can't.

0_equals_true wrote:
How are people organising them the moment? In UK there are "socs" or university societies. I think those need a certain number of signatures, to get official status. They showcase clubs and societies to freshers at the begining of the year. I'm not sure of the distinction between clubs and societies, but I guess you are looking for something informal. Is there a notice board that list activities?


I'm not actually sure, and that's something that I'll clear up when I've asked the people in charge. I don't want to start an official society or anything (let alone when it's only me at this point) so much as a loosely organized group of students who can meet for fun and some time around other students.

We have boards, which I presumably need permission to use but plan to if I'm allowed. I know that will be one way of advertising, but I'm not sure it will be enough or how to approach it from the position of someone who's starting at zero. I'd hate to get space for a meeting, preventing other people from using it, and then just sit there for two hours while nobody shows up, anyway. I'd need to have a plan first.

Your "social club" idea is a good one, though. I've seen papers with tearaway numbers plenty of times.



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02 Mar 2015, 4:53 pm

I edited my post, to include better 'copy' for a notice board Ad.