Former friend being evasive

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For the past year and a half I have not been on good terms with another person who I used to consider a friend. She tuned nasty on me during the holidays in 2013 and New Year's 2014. Suddenly she felt like there had been a conflict between us and that we were just not a good fit for each other. Yet I really feel that she didn't really give me a reason or say what's wrong.

I called her out about 6 months later via e-mail and she responded by saying she was sorry for hurting me and if I had any questions she would happily answer them but didn't really have a lot to say.

I asked her why she kept telling me why she loved me like a sister but she never wrote back.

I finally forgave her and just wrote again yesterday.

I sent her an e-mail saying that I was sorry for retaliating against her when I first found out that she pulled a 180 on me out of the blue. She did accept it and acknowledged what I said and explained that she would be willing to talk it out but didn't know what to say and would write more later.

Yet I have seen her pull that stunt before by evading why did what she felt that she had to.

The question is how do I handle evasive behavior? I don't want to call her and her husband up and yell at them. At the same time I want to let them know that I am not going to play their games anymore.

What do you wish for?

I just want to know what happened to make her lose her interest in talking to and associating with me. Maybe there is something that I could be unaware of that I need to work on.

I think you have already put the ball in her court by asking her what happened. If she does not respond on her own, I see no further point in continuing to ask. If she was a friend she'd make time for you. Otherwise you have to accept that she's just not interested in fixing this relationship.

Maybe someone else who knows you could give you the same feedback because yes, it doesn't sound like she will. It's possible it's to do with her or her husband....and also possible she isn't able to articulate a reason. Or she may dislike something about you and think it mean to explain, or feel it's even wrong to do so. Unfortunately it doesn't seem she's able/willing to explain, best to try to move on. Others might be able to tell you though, if you ask.

I have accepted it that she is not interested in me. Two things though

1. She usually acknowledges my e-mails that I was very hurt and angry with her for what had happened and says a few things before not knowing what to say and will write to me when she has more to say but never does.
2. It's more like I want a clearer understanding of actually happened since she brought it up over a year ago that we should meet in person to sort things out and then go our own ways.


When people say they are going to do something and not follow through next to being evasive is a hot button for me.