It's hard making friends with other girls:/

Post Reply New Topic

I have a hard time making girl friends...IRL and online.

Either I don't find them interesting enough or they aren't interested in me.

It was so much easier talking to guys, but guys just seem to want me more than a friend. I have a bf already so I wouldn't feel right hanging out with all kinds of guys...

What should I do? I want a girl friend who shares the same interests as me and who actually wants to keep in touch and hang out.

Just to throw this out, I'm 25 years old, I live in Tempe AZ USA, I live with my BF and my cat, I love to draw and I want to make my own manga/animation. I love animation and kawaii things, I like Nintendo and I love animals.

I'm a libra and a snake, I just recently dropped out of college because I'm just not made for school.

I draw a lot in my spare time (which is a lot) and I'm thinking about learning code.

Just a brief profile of myself:)

I think if your a female it can be somewhat difficult to be friends with other girls because they are interested in fashion and other detailed social stuff that guys generally don't relate or even really care about.

I find that I feel like I'd prefer female companions, but most are so catty and concerned with shallow "girly" things that I can never really relate. I can befriend them if I make the effort, but I don't really have an interest because they get on my nerves way too quickly. Lol.

The small handful that I've found who do have similar interests, disposition, and critical eye as me have been lovely, but they are very hard to come by.

im into art and theatre, so the only good friends I've had were met though dance classes or musicals that I've been in. I recently met a really cool girl in an art history class. I find that I can't really make friends at parties or bars, I need to have a means to see the person over and over again and I warm up slowly. Maybe your best bet is to find some art classes or gallery/museum events near you and see if there's anyone in your demographic that appeals to you.

I agree with above poster- look for females that share your interests, online and irl. I'm 28, I live with my bf and our two dogs in a town we just moved to a few months ago, and I hardly leave my house these days because I don't know/like anyone here (I met a girl for dinner that I thought I would really enjoy, and she went on a high and mighty rant about vegan skincare & animal testing while shoving beef tartare in her mouth... that's... that's raw beef, basically, and the only way that could have been LESS vegan is if she killed the cow herself & just gnawed on its leg a little!) I stay sane by having a handful of good friends online I can talk to.

I can't be friends with guys anymore because they seem to always, only want to sleep with me (unless they're not interested in women) but that sucks because I relate to them/their thought processes sooooo much better. Typical females are so catty and sh**ty by and large, totally insecure with themselves, and see other females as a threat. I try to be friends with them and the first sign of being a jerk or terrible person I just stop talking to them completely. Most girls belittle their other friends or give away their secrets behind their backs, which makes me not want to give them any of my time because I know they'll just do the same to me. The older I get, the more that I feel like it's harder to form female friendships than it is to find someone to date I joke sometimes about needing a friend-dating website and not knowing how to ask girls irl on friend-dates to see if we get along, because that's what it feels like to me, so you're definitely not alone!

you could try volunteering at an animal shelter.

I agree with the other posters. Find girls who share your interests. I often end up being friends with girls that I have classes with and they tend to be girls who also don't have a lot of girl friends. Many of my friends I just keep up with online or through texting because they moved away or we just never lived near each other.

I hear of tons of women who like drawing and anime. The places you're looking might not have them, or the attitudes of people there might not be suited for you. Different settings attract different personalities.

If you're into Nintendo, then you're probably already on Miiverse..but if not, try that. I don't like making girl friends for the same reasons as everyone has said, and my latest friend was a guy, but that didn't work out .at.all. I'm married, 3 kids, I have a degree but stay at home with my kids, LOVE Nintendo (but not really anime - sorry ). My most recent girl friend got divorced about a year ago and moved back to where she grew up. She was practically the only girl I've liked in a long time too :/ I think making friends in general is just extremely difficult.

I was taking a drawing class at my community college last year and I did find some interesting girls there. My problem is "making the first move" and asking if they want to hang out outside of class.

I just have a hard time reading them...like sometimes they wouldn't say hi or bye...

It's like they were acquaintances only in class.

i get that entirely... i've deduced, however, that it is my lack of giving the right "signals" that causes others to seem to keep their distance. for instance, what i think of as being extra friendly is actually "average" friendliness, and what i think is being "averagely friendly" actually comes off as slightly antisocial or disinterested to others. If i really focus on trying to be friendly, look at the person, be the first to say hi rather than waiting to see if she is going to be friendly as well, I find that things go much better. it's much more exhausting, and then I remember why I don't have too many friends (it's a LOT of work to make it happen!). however, a highly active and conscious effort on my part tends to be the best way to get someone else to reciprocate. of course, being extra friendly like this means that next time I have to make an equally strong effort, or else the other person gets mixed signals and thinks that I have lost interest or something... so its a big commitment, at least for me. Lol. that's also why i find it difficult to make the effort unless I REALLY like the person.

long story short... if you are trying to get past the "casual classmate acquaintance" stage, you just have to be the one who "assumes" that you are already friends. when you actively treat an acquaintance like a friend, i have found that they tend to just go along with it. best of luck to you!