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SocOfAutism
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13 Apr 2015, 1:03 pm

I'm writing a thesis and one of the things I'm trying to cite is that some people don't want to disclose their autism status because they know/have known another spectrum person and they don't like that person.

I've heard auties/aspies say this in conversation, but I can't cite that. I think it's a legitimate complaint. I once knew and disliked a woman who always wore long skirts, and now I always wear pants. I think a lot of people also dislike saying they are feminists because they have a negative picture of feminists in their minds. I think autism disclosure is very similar.

If anyone has known or knows a person on the spectrum they don't like, and this keeps you from telling some people that you're autistic or have Asperger's, I'd love to hear about it. Keep in mind that I might cite you in my thesis, with your username as the author.

Alternately, if anyone knows another site to point me to, I would be forever in your debt!

(My thesis is "Autism Disclosure at Work" and is a critical autism study about how autistic people are A) present in the workforce and B) underrepresented because of the complications surrounding disclosure)



Shoggothgoat
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13 Apr 2015, 3:35 pm

I see two interpretations to your question:

1: If my personal experiences with an aspie I didn't like would make me less likely to disclose? No. Aspies are different people. Autism defines your struggles, not who you are as a person. We have the same issues, but we are not the same people.

2: Would other peoples experience with an aspie they did not like make me less likely to disclose? Probably. If I know someone has had a bad experience with an aspie, and as a result they have a negative bias towards people on the autism spectrum, I would be less inclined to disclose. Too many people on this forum have had negative experiences about disclosing and being reduced only to their diagnosis. Essentially being perceived as autism and nothing more. If people lack basic knowledge about you, they will make assumptions. If they know you are an aspie, and they have had bad experiences with an aspie, they will compare the two of us. I would rather not have them drag whatever negative experiences they have with a different aspie on to me.



SocOfAutism
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13 Apr 2015, 4:27 pm

Ah, I'm pleased to see you bring up the second point. That's a specific question in my work and unfortunately I have found a lot of discriminatory evidence about that.

But yes, I'm looking for evidence/experiences about your first point. You're right, no one should stereotype based on someone else they've met, but people do. It's natural, although it's not too nice.

I watched a documentary once about a man with red hair who hated other red haired people. I have red hair and I don't feel this way, but I can see how others might. I'm looking for this kind of thing but about auties/aspies.



iliketrees
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26 Apr 2015, 5:16 am

Every single one of my friends has either had autism or a learning disability, or both. And this is without me knowing. My current best friend (online) is autistic. My cousins are all autistic and I get on good with them. So yeah, I seem to like other ASD people unintentionally.



pirrouline
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28 Apr 2015, 2:40 pm

I have a few autistic friends who I get along with better than I have gotten along with most other people, but they're all people with whom I have something else in common. I've met a couple of autistic people and quickly found that I had nothing to talk about with them because we had completely different interests and senses of humor.

Years ago, when I was just beginning to wonder if I had Asperger's, my friend was in a relationship with an emotionally abusive guy who had Asperger's. I hoped she would break up with him soon and I knew that when she did, it would be clear how horribly he treated her. In this time, I felt like I could not find out whether I had Asperger's, or if I did, I could never tell her, because I was afraid she would associate it with him. Fortunately he's no longer in her life, and I don't think she has hard feelings about people on the spectrum, because she was supportive towards one of her good friends who was getting diagnosed recently.



nyxjord
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28 Apr 2015, 2:47 pm

I have never had an experience like the one you describe. If anything, I'd more hesitant to come out because the person I am coming out to, might know someone who is not on the same spot of the spectrum, as I and then compare me to them.. "Oh, I have an Autistic *whatever* and you don't act like them at all," type of thing. However, that very rarely ever happens. But no, to your question, I have never had such a bad experience with someone on the spectrum that I would return to the closet or be hesitant about coming out.


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hmk66
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18 May 2015, 4:53 pm

That is different. There are autistics that I do like, and others that I do not like. Some of them are my friends, or they are at least well-known to me. Some of the well-known people, or those I can relate well with, are also NT.

Autistics are not necessarily friendly, and NTs are not necessarily nasty to me.



kraftiekortie
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18 May 2015, 6:30 pm

It depends on the ASD person, really.

They, like NT's, run the gamut from extremely nice to extremely nasty.



MrBear
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18 May 2015, 7:14 pm

I generally like others with ASD. The two people I care the most for are ASD. One is undiagnosed but she is definitely. That being said, some people with ASD do confuse me. I am in-touch with my emotions, fairly understanding of NT individuals, etc... I do think it does vary like any person.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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18 May 2015, 8:30 pm

I judge people as individuals
depends on the individual and what they're like personality wise