being yourself

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Hi. How are you? I used to pretend to be someone else. My mom inspires me to be myself. The problem is I don't know how to be myself, so I decided to work on myself. So, what is it like to be yourself?

tiering, hard and scary at times.

it was hard for me to become my real self, and i got really scared at some points during the process, but i had to keep going, self-discovery should not be stopped once started.

now that i (mainly) know who i am, i went back to wearing masks in public, as everyone does, in order to fit in.
at least the masks are lighter and more effective.

I can mimic most personalities of who I think the person I am talking to wants to talk to, but this is very emotionally draining and I can't end up sustaining this for very long. I would rather be myself and alone than trying to be someone else.

I don't be myself, I be my best self. I always look for improvement as well as self-discovery.

I'm a fairly okay actor and often 'act normal' even if I have to force it. It's draining but it works and it's helped with my confidence.

Along with other things like health, hobbies, etc.

Anyway, good luck OP. Never stop improving. There's nothing wrong with not being yourself really, anyway. "Fake it till you make it". If you can do your best to become someone else (someone happier, more suuccesful, etc.) you will..but thats not a bad thing.

Here is a classic activity that might help:

Don't think too hard when you do this.

Answer this question ten times -

I am ____

I have a tough time with this sometimes too, so I can relate. I think you just have to accept yourself and love yourself, including the imperfections or differences, or anything. It's reinforced when you give that back to others too

I have no idea who my real self is. I always pick up on peoples behavior and it takes more energy to not copy them which is why I need to avoid certain groups of people or else I will start acting like them. I get too easily influenced. My youngest brother is the same way and he is NT. At least I didn't start doing drugs in high school or get pregnant. My mom was real worried about me. But apparently everyone does it.

I'm the same in terms of mimicry. I try to scale it back but sometimes it just comes out full force :/. I think everyone adapts *some* to who they are with but what I do is over the top.

I have very little sense of who I truly am, it's frightening.

I am never not my "real self", but I might be a more reserved or a more open version of myself, depending on who I'm with.

With people I'm not sure really accept me/like me/consider me a friend, I am more reserved. This just means I talk less. I don't really share my opinions, I don't talk about my interests. I might chit-chat about "what's new" if I'm asked, or I might ask after someone else to be friendly or polite. But these conversations are short and not frequent.

My more open self comes out with people who are actually friends (not too many) and family. These are people I spend more time with. I will talk freely. This means I share my opinions, talk about stuff I'm into. These people see my language faux-pas, my word mix-ups, my absent-mindedness, my very "must be there" funny remarks. My quirks are very funny at times, but one has to spend a lot of time with me to see it.

I have learned not to bother being more open with people who just don't really care about knowing me beyond the surface. It's a waste of time & energy and can lead to great disappointment if I find out someone I was hoping to have as a real friend doesn't want the same.

My advice to you all is: To be yourself, you must find yourself and work on yourself. Read a self-help, look into the mirror and say positive things about yourself, and meditate.

I'm not sure what my real self is.

How would I know it if I found it??

I can't be my real self, because I'm not finished yet. Thus, whatever I try to be is a fabrication in some way.
I was led to believe the term means just to be natural and not try to project something that is unnatural for the sake of external circumstances. It gets complicated when the "natural" you isn't you either.

I can pull whatever version of my real self is required out of storage. Blow off the dust, fit it on and poof, you see the real me you need to see.... I know, it's the mask thing but after 34 years or so of doing this I find it almost impossible to not do it. I always keep some buried personalities for pushy people to find, which always seems to make them happy and leave me alone! ...expect for my wife wife Brina, who is also AS and sees through most of them.. sigh.