Well I guess it's (finally) over (repost)

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(NOTE: I had to repost this in order to make some minor edits)

Hey Guys,

Well over this past weekend me and my "friend" kinda went at it over the whole thing about the girl whom works at a pizza joint (see my previous topic about that) in short he want's me to have more friends esp a woman friend I tried telling him the way things are going it's causing me Anxiety to which he replied "why? because your so fixated on yourself you don't see somebody in front of you whom is trying to connect with you. You start with the "what if's" and went further on by saying. "Quit being a self absorbed sh!t and allow people to reach out to you...or you will die a lonely miserable reclusive sad person. A friend to no one." I dunno what makes him qualified to make such statements/judgement about my plus life little does he know I have a friend in Jersey and we've been true friends going on 30 years now.

My follow up was: "Unless you know what's going on in my life I don't think your qualified to call me "a self absorbed sh!t" as for ..... I have talked with her she knows why I have anxiety and unlike you (whom wants me to rush into things) she's willing to work things out so that there's less anxiety. Finally, why do you care soo much about my life?!...I don't get that? I'm 34 I still have many years in my life to live. I felt ambushed last week when the both of youse were looking for me to set something up the next day, I was trying to send you a sign, a signal that I wasn't really comfortable with what was going on. ya know, there could have been a better way to deal with things."

So his reply was "possibly" and just went on to say more about how this other person has been trying to reach out to me to be a friend etc (even tho my feelings towards the person is only neutral) and that "he's out of it now" and will also be taking a long break from the pizza restaurant and that if she should ask him about me he will just say "he's out of it now" and concluded by saying Have a good weekend Adios.

I replied by saying: if it's casual friends I may not have much of an issue & that I really hope this doesn't affect our friendship..(not that I really care anymore) to which I haven't heard anything back...

So I guess he's finished with me....and in all truth I'm kinda glad...relived actually that I'm no longer [metaphorically] chained to this person, while it was nice to have somebody to chat with and travel the city and surrounding areas with it came with a price tag. I kinda got the feeling that he was living his life through me: he wanted me to go to his gym to help him work out because he wanted to lose weight so he can start going out with women and now he want's me to go out and socialize with this woman at the restaurant. here's the kicker this woman at the restaurant also mentioned she was a member of a gym (in the city) to which my "friend" said to her I may have to sign up and join your gym. He recently stopped going to the gym after I signed up (he kinda belittled/bullied me to sign up) and his reasoning for not going to the gym with me is that "that I need to get down to his size and gain more exp before he returns to his gym" (so I'm on my own). So I'm going to see if I can get a refund for the 2 months not used and go to a gym that's closer to my home rather two towns over.

In all truth I was waiting for the right moment to tell him to stop contacting me. I reached out to my childhood friend in Jersey whom is more or less is an NT and asked if what he had done is "normal" for a person to give out another person's e-mail address behind a person's back his reply was: "No that was a total d!ck move" I also reached out to a an online friend that I've known for 5 years now, whom is a female and she was kinda repulsed by how this person was going about things with me....and finally I reached out to a cousin whom is in law enforcement to see if this qualifies as harassment and what legal moves I could take if I were to abort this friendship and what legal protections I may have if he were to have contacted me after I said don't bother me anymore.

So because I'm kinda obligated to have coffee with this woman I will fulfill that and then move on with my life and focus on more important issues affecting my life. Kinda relieved in all honestly..
Tho at some point down the road I would like to have a friend whom lives in my area who is either NT or on the spectrum whom doesn't have an agenda nor I don't want anything pushed on me nor end up feeling like less of person because I have troubles "conforming" to the NT way of things.

So thanks for reading,

Advice and comments are always welcomed.

Congrats on letting go of an association that, on balance, seems to have evolved to stifle your development more than support it.

In the past I have bumped into (hopefully) well-meaning people like the guy you mention. At first it was kind of cool for them to take the lead in activities, but it was not too long before things went sour. At least those experiences have taught me to recognize sooner those characteristics in someone.

Thanks, it's people like him that makes me really question the true intentions of somebody and makes me more introvert then sociable. I've even disclosed to this person that I have Autism and that I like to take things slow and think things over to which he said you need to get over that and move on. As if it's something that I can "get over" From what I've been told by teachers whom have taught people with Autism/Aspergers is that they often aim to please and that what one sees is the real person as there is no fake politeness or fake emotions. which I kinda like so maybe when I find the right aspergers/autism support group I would better connect with people whom know & understand the the daily struggle rather then an NT whom has little to no clue about As/Aut other then what they see on TV.

In fact there's a few people on this site if giving the chance I wouldn't mind meeting in person.

I think the guy had good intentions.

He just didn't go about it the right way.

Unless he's persistent in harassing you, I wouldn't pursue anything legal with him. Just let it go. Move on.

Just clear your head, and enjoy your coffee with the pizza place girl. There's no pressure. She seems like she understands you.

Hey kraftiekortie, Maybe he did I dunno but countless insults stemming from this and past conversations kinda made me realize this isn't going anywhere, I've been insulted enough at various times during my life I didn't have a choice then but I do now.
I'm not going to pursue anything legal I just wanted to know what my rights are in the event it should escalate into something more.

When I get back from my vacation I will have a cup of coffee with this girl and move on. I'm not that interested in her she does seam like an ok person but...I really don't want this person to be my "go to" for social relationship. It's hard for me to explain it.

Where'd you go on your vacation?

In about a week and a half I'm heading to SC for the week of the 4th... Kinda looking forward to it.

Do you mean South Carolina?

It's a small state--but there are distinct regions within it. The northwest part of the state is quite different than the southeast part of the state.

Think:

Greenville-Spartanburg = northwest part of the state

Hilton Head Island/Savannah, GA area = southeast part of the state.

Yep South Carolina just kinda lazy to type it out it's near Lancaster whatever part of the state that's located in.

It's near Charlotte, NC.

It's in the northwest part of SC.

It's maybe a two-hour drive from Atlanta.

If you're into car racing, you're not far from Dale Earnhardt's hometown, Kannapolis, NC.

yea normally about a 2 hour drive tho I normally cut off anywhere from 10-15mins because I normally drive faster then the posted limit and don't stop.

I once got stopped for speeding near Spartanburg. It was about 2 in the morning. I was going 85 in a 70.

the key is to keep it 10 or under normally they wont pull you over if your doing anything less then 10 now and 11 and up is a crap shoot knowing somebody in law enforcement sometimes also helps

I remember this from your other post. I remember thinking that your friend sounded like a jerk, although he seemed to think he was helping. Sometimes people like you, want to be your friend, and want to help you out in their own ways, but it doesn't mean you're obligated to be friends with them.

Did you have coffee with the pizza girl? If so how did it go? It would be interesting if she ended up being a friend.

Hey SocOfAutism,
I have not had coffee with the pizza girl however, I did block this guy from my phone I came to the realization that a true friend would find a better way to help me over come my issues rather then by calling "a self adsorbed sh!t" "whom will die a sad reclusive pitiful man A friend to no one"...That on top of a previous argument we had where he wanted me to join his gym and due to my finances always changing week to week I had to put it off and he went off on me then and yet when I finally joined his gym he only showed up wha twice?...Then gave a cop out answer when I asked about that so I'm through! Yes I have Autism yes I have self esteem issues and having him ridicule me or make me feel less of a person because I don't share in his political/religious beliefs doesn't do anything to help my self esteem issues. So now I'm stuck with a 3 month gym membership and I know cringe when I go to the gym because I may run into him when I don't want to have any contact with him....and what sucks is I can't get a refund from the gym.

PS. SocOfAutism what does the Soc in your name mean?

Maybe you could use the membership.

If you aren't already fit/in shape then use it to look better. But healthy balanced diet is just as important.

Just saying if he ever showed up to the gym you can simply ignore him and if he persists you will at least look more intimidating and he will be more motivated to leave you alone.

From the sounds of it he doesn't sound like a big tough guy himself or anything.

But if you have no interest in the gym membership then that's perfectly fine and I understand why you would want to get rid of it. Just a suggestion though.