Joehotto101 wrote:
My dad says that I am just "too lazy" to make friends instead of being anxious. Mostly, it is me facing a fear of predicting something bad will happen such as me getting rejected from the group for being awkward, not having anything to say and suffer severe awkwardness or getting lost going to someones house and getting injured at the gym. I am SO apathetic at predicting events that I often stay at home to feel secure from anxiety.
This is what I go through. The very thought of all the possible issues which will go wrong have really stifled my life to the point where I never have any fun.
The thing is though, these fears I suffer when thinking of social events aren't exactly misplaced: I really am awkward in new situations, and even banal ones if truth be told, and exposure to them alone isn't getting me anywhere. Being a logical person, I'm forming the conclusion that I will remain this way forever more, which is obviously leading to depression.
There are precious few services where I am for learning social skills in a structured way and I'm sure as hell not learning them naturally, so my awkwardness seems destined to continue.
I guess my advice to you would be that even if you, like me, aren't really benefitting from exposure, the alternatives are to experience the anxiety but at least know you did it and got through the other side, or hide away and have more security but also more regrets. I've always done the latter, but I'm looking to change tack and see if it gets results.
Sorry for the long post, but I did really relate to what you said. Wishing you luck in future engagements.