ANOTHER MISCOMMUNICATION BETWEEN NT AND ASPIE

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Howdy. Last night I had another miscommunication between me and my Aspie friend. I knitted him this wonderful afghan that took several months. During those months, I had asked him for his address in which he said he would give the address to me once the afghan was done. I thought he was putting me off because he didn't really want the afghan. Then after he gave me his new address (because he was actually moving so he could afford to go to school - which he didn't tell me this part so then I would have understood his reluctance to give me his address). Then I asked for his last name and he said he would prefer to remain anonymous (which is fine with me now because UPS can ship without a last name). So the afghan is now done and I said I was going to mail it to the address he had given me about 6 months ago after his move and he said to hold on to the afghan because he will probably not be at the old address again. I came out and said "Are you still wanting the afghan?" I think he was perplexed as to why I said that because he asked me what I meant by that statement. The thing is NT's will keep putting a person off when they don't really want something (like my afghan) instead of just coming out and saying they don't want whatever you're giving - NT's don't want to upset the person so they keep putting them off in hopes that they will get the message or just forget about the situation altogether. I'm guessing Aspies aren't this way? My Aspie friend said he was thinking of moving closer to the school he is attending and would give me his new address then. Thinking that he might forget about telling me his new address (he kept putting me off on his picture of China until he just came out and told me that he didn't want to show them to me so he could remain anonymous) I said "Please don't forget." He might have been a little upset because he said "Of course not!" I'm just used to how NT people act. Is he being straight up with me? Do Aspies put people off instead of telling them the truth like NT's do?

I think aspies can do this as much as an NT can because every aspie is different. I don't believe anymore that no aspie is incapable of doing things an NT has done because of personal experience I have had online with them and they have treated me the way NTs have treated me in real life and I have seen them behave the way I have seen NTs behave online. I would flat out tell him "Look, if you don't want it, just say so, it won't hurt my feeling if you changed your mind."

Now personally if you were knitting an afghan for me and I was in the middle of moving to a new address, I would absolutely LOVE the fact that you were making me the afghan, and I would probably also be anxious that if you mailed it too soon, it might end up getting lost in the mail. So I would definitely communicate this to you using pretty much the words I've just typed above. As for concealing true identities, I can understand that ... there are people in Star Trek fandom that get upset when I tell them my name is Q and then I won't give them my real name (unless they take the time and make the effort to get to know me sincerely).

Now with that in mind ... we're all unique individuals, whether we're Aspie or NT.

So I really can't speak for your friend. I just hope that you and your friend are able to have an understanding, honest, and caring conversation to clear up the matter.

I really wish I had a friend who cared enough to make an afghan for me ...
your friend is lucky to have you.

...

You know the saying: when you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie.

Maybe if he wants to be anonymous and not tell you his last name he also doesn't want people knowing his address?