Do you ever feel older but younger at the same time?

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I get this weird feeling when I'm in a crowd of very extroverted girls, between the ages of 18 to 30. When the extroverted types get together, they kind of act excitable and a bit cliquey (even if they're nice and friendly), and I feel like I'm in my 40's or 50's, like I've grown out of ''youngster behaviour'' and don't feel I belong. But because they are extroverted girls, they (unintentionally) make me feel younger than them as well. The way they talk to me is quite patronizing, and I feel like I'm about 10. They aren't patronizing on purpose, they just know that I am quiet and a bit nervous, so they don't say any jokes to me because they think they will scare me off or something, and so just speak to me like I'm a little kid who needs to be talked to in a different way.

Does anyone else feel both older than your peers AND younger than your peers at the same time? Well, I mean if you're among peers that are extroverted. I get along fine with my NT peers that are down to earth, quieter, and just talk to me like I'm one of them.

IMHO: I think it has to do with experience and social skill, and yes I feel the same way.

I hate to sound arrogant but, and this heavily depends on what kind of people I am actually with, at times I feel older than the others in that I feel more 'mature' or 'adult' than they are.

But (again due to what kind of group of people they are) will feel younger due to lack of social skills and experience in things.

Can be specific things, can be in general in life.

For instance you might look at these people and just sub-counciously realize that they are 'better' than you in that they have more of an ability to experience things you are 'delayed' in.

It is easy to feel 'childish' or like a child compared to others if they are 'ahead of you' in certain aspects of your life.

So, for example if you're 25 and haven't had your first relationship, don't drive yet, haven't had your first real job yet, etc. you might feel a bit younger and less experienced if your other friends the same age are the exact opposite.

But, you also feel older because maybe they have these life-experience things you don't but they implement them awkwardly, e.g. they might have their first job but actually be bad at it and/or hate it.

So you feel 'older/more mature' in that you can logically conclude that you would not choose to have a job you are bad at and do not like.

It's the whole 'If I was in your position, I'd...' argument but you still feel you have no place to comment due to possibly feeling ignorant/lacking in experience.

"If I was in your position, I would get a job I enjoy and am decently good at. But, I haven't had my first job, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you know something I don't (like finding any job can be hard and some will take what they can get)"

Anyway, maybe I'm just talking nonsense, maybe I'm onto something, but that's my $0.02.

I experience this all the time. I think this might be because us aspies are generally operating at a more complex (not higher, just more complex) intellectual level than our extroverted peers, but at the same time we're on a lower emotional level.

I do. I go to a christian school, so my classmates are probably on the slightly more mature side. But I'm often finding myself looking down on their immaturity, and I am regarded as one of the more mature people in the school. This was especially true in the first few years when most didn't know me that well. But at the same time, the guys around me drive, have girlfriends, go to parties, go out with their friends, etc. Meanwhile I'm at home playing make believe like a five year old.

Yes, pretty much exactly as you describe. Except I'm over 30 now and it still happens with people around my age.

Yes. Just yes. Thank you for putting this in words.

I always have the sense that I'm somehow on a different plane than everyone else, like the torturous existance of the forever "out-of-place" Benjamin Button.

Yes, constantly!! It's very confusing to be straddling two vastly different age levels.

Yes! All the time. Its such a friggin paradox. While I feel so out of touch with the world as far as trends and such, Im so behind the mentality of what I think a "normal" 37 yr old man would be.

For example, Im totally anti-gadget. I hate smart phones, social media and just the technology obsessed culture we live in. I dont watch TV shows, think people today dress really stupid and the way they act isnt much better. I have a very "old school" value system when it comes to loyalty, political correctness, guns and physically "dealing with someone" if need be. I think thats how things should be. So that makes me all feel very old. I often find it easier to talk with people in their 50s and 60s more than a peer, or worse, someone in their 20s (Not that I dislike them but Wow, talk about not relating).

But on the other hand, my interests and priorities are much closer to what a late teens early 20s would be. I still smoke weed everyday (that I can get it at least...), still get deeply engrossed in fantasy sports, still love going to metal (for lack of a better term) shows and the highlight of my life is usually when one of my favorite bands is coming out with new material. I find working to be not only an inconvenience, but being forced to makes me wanna seriously kill myself. I go through jobs every year and its getting harder and harder as the years go by and the requirements get higher. I dont tend to care about many serious things

So I find myself in this middle ground where I do feel older and younger at the same time. And it sucks because both younger and older people tend to look down on me, or I feel that way at least.

Between the ages of 13 and 17 I was pretty burnt out on life. I felt really old and disconnected from everyone and yet I also felt younger than them because in a lot of ways I was getting left behind so to speak. That's when I panicked and a few months later I found out I had ASD.

Yes, and don't expect it to change. I felt that way as a teenager, and now in my late 30s I feel the same.
There's this annoying sense that other people are simultaneously stupid and mysteriously sophisticated.