Talking About Your Problems With Friends

Post Reply New Topic

So sometimes when I try to make friends they seem to think I talk too much about my problems instead of just chit chatting. It's like I'll go on about the dilemmas posed by my situation where I try to socialize but can't and get left out of society, and what i've tried and what has worked and hasn't and introspecting ... and they just want to talk about tv shows or what they had for lunch. They find deep introspective sharing too hard. Are you like that too?

I learned the hard way to never share your problems with friends. At the very least, they will eventually get tired of it (and you). At worst, you may one day overhear complete strangers talking about you and your problems, because your now former friend thinks it's funny to make jokes about you and ridicule you in public.

I've gotten mixed results with being touchy feely with people. A good sign would be if they are already willing to share their problems with you, but be careful, some just do that to build their own image and could give a damn about you. I wouldn't share anything too personal at work, that will just lead to problems.

I've had few, but we've always talked pretty openly about our struggles and offered good insight. I just try to limit it if I wind up complaining every time or every other time we talk. Listening to too much and trying to find the right things to say is draining to me, too.

Also helps if you're selective about who you talk to. Some people just don't care enough to want to hear someone else's personal problems, or they can't actually be trusted to respect privacy.

In my experience, it's all about finding the right moment. I've noticed that when I feel the need to talk about something that upsets me, and I find the right moment to do so, people actually seem to enjoy hearing about my problems because they like to give advice and act like a shrink. Just don't get them down when they're having fun and making jokes.
I would suggest you try to broach the subject gradually and wait until they ask you questions before you go into more details.