My sons school is kicking us out

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I am Autistic. I think I got my son kicked out of his school. Well, they told me that they didnt think I was happy there. I already wrote and went and had a meeting before the end of the school year saying that I did like them, I just wasnt happy with the way they handled things sometimes. I know I can come off strong but I feel I have always been honest and open to them about things in the school and with my son. The lady told me she didnt understand, and then wrote to me that I seemed "unstable" because of the way I wrote one of my letters to her. I assured them I was stable I just become passionate about childcare and tend to get carried away and when I write while I am in that passion, my thoughts tend to become unorganized.

Now this is a school that helps adults AND children with disabilities. I was upfront and honest about my autism because I thought it would help clear up an future issues that may arise, as I know myself very well and tend to overstep my boundries with different relationships and people, and unfortunately, I dont notice till I have already done it. When people are afraid or upset or confused by me or my actions. This is not actions though, I mostly just wanted to share my knowledge and thought I would be helpful to the classes or the director on my knowledge about child care AND even inside knowledge of living with a disability. Well after the meeting with the director, she said she felt she understood much better and I said a few times before I left that I did like her program and if I didnt I wouldnt have my son still in it. I feel I scared them away. I was trying to contact them for the new school year so I can get in on my sons IEP that I studied and researched really hard so I could try to be on the same level with them during the meeting... and then she sends me this... finally....

"Hi Sarah,

I’m sorry but your last few emails went into my junk folder and I just found them. I sent the artwork out in the mail today.

I’ve spoken with Vida and we have decided it will be best for Wesley to go to another school in the Sarasota School System. She is awaiting a call from you. I truly don’t believe you are happy with our services and will be best starting new at another facility.

While I know this is hard to hear I have to do what I think is best for our program. If you would like to discuss over the phone I can call you as well."


I cried. I knew with them not responding that I messed something up for my son once again. I am much more upset about it than I originally thought and wondered if any of you have had the same problem as a parents with ASD or maybe with work/job emails and conversations with employers. Have you overstepped your boundries without noticing or been turned away with a fake reason because they dont want to tell you?? I feel they were in the wrong with this. What do you all think? Let me know if you need more information, because I am a bit frustrated so its hard to get what I want to say out at the moment.

I could see myself getting in a situation just like you.

We like to be specific and clarify because we think more information will improve things but NTs don't like to deal in specifics and perceive our continued dialog as a threat.

In my experience, NTs assess situations quickly, determine what's going on (even if they're ill informed or misunderstand), and it's pretty much in indelible ink in their minds after that point. After that I think they don't really pay attention to the content of your message. I think they basically think "This person must not be happy because they are still talking/writing." and "This person thinks I didn't understand the first time around so they must think I'm stupid." So they're insulted too. (I've only learned this is the past year.)

I lost my last job over communication gone awry with my manager. She basically took my opinion against changing something in a project midstream (because it was inconsequential to the outcome but would have made us miss our deadline) and decided that I resisted all change. Therefore, anything that came out of my mouth from then on was resistance, even if it wasn't. When another change came down the road, she voiced her concern over my resistance and I specifically stated I was on board with the change, but she still was certain that I was not going to be flexible and used it as a basis to terminate me for no real reason.

I wish I had good solutions. My current strategy is to be very aware of the impressions I make and to say as little as possible. It seems the more I talk the the more trouble I encounter.

Even though I don't have children I have had people in my life who are supposed to understand my situation and they let their emotions get in the way of things and suddenly reject me.

I had a professional relationship with a caregiver fall apart because of a huge misunderstanding that I will not go into. It ended because I wasn't where I said I was going to be even though I gave a heads up. So they called mall security and the staff at the venue to look for me while calling my family member and nearly 911. This is while I jumped to conclusions as to whether they were a no show.

When we did meet up they humiliated me in public by treating me like a little kid and grounding me. They also said that because of what I pulled that they would no longer work for me anymore because of the rules and regulations set in place.

I tried to apologize and they turned really nasty and said things like "You've said that 100 times tonight but you know what I'm done!" So it ended but I moved out of my own after that.

It sounds like these people at that school were trying to cover their own butts because you tried to be honest with them.

My honest 2 cents is that they wan't kids there with parents who don't fuss so they can just earn their checks and go home.

It's an odd thing. Growing up, my schools liked parents who cared enough to fuss about the education their kids were getting. Of course, now with parents hovering over their kids and demanding their "special snowflakes" get the best, maybe schools just want parents to go away.

I see the problem being more about them than you. They see you as just a complication they'd rather not deal with, and it appears they have the freedom to refuse you service and make you go elsewhere.