Needing Aspie Help.

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Howdy. It's me. I'm mad at my Aspie friend (I've know him for over 1.5 yrs) because I've been really sick (as you all know) and haven't heard from him since last Sunday when I had to go to the ER with breathing problems. I've texted him three times this week and have not received any answer - with one of my text asking how his Ma was. I helped him last week when his Ma passed out (while I was sicker than a dog myself) and told him he could text or call me at anytime and talked to him until he was feeling ok because he was a little bit shaken up by what happened. That's how I believe a friendship should be. Now he just texted me saying he's had a lot going on this week and he's been trying to get into a routine with work and school and hasn't had time to text much. He says this all the time, of course, when he's gone a week or more without saying anything. I'm mad because having had to go to the ER twice with this pneumonia crap really scared me and he wasn't around even when I texted. It reminds me of my brother - he also didn't even answer my text when I said I had to go to the ER. If it wasn't for my Ma, I would have had to take myself or call an ambulance. So now my Aspie friend is texting and thinking things should just pick up where they left off? He has also said before that when he looks for someone as a friend or relationship that he doesn't want them to be selfish. Isn't he being selfish? It seems that everything is about him and I'm just here for his convenience when he gets bored. I went to a lot of trouble making him this afghan and I even told him how important it was for me to get it to him because I had made it explicitly for him and he said its important to him too to get the afghan, so why is it still sitting in a box behind my sofa? I just want to cry. I take my friendships seriously and I'm feeling like he's taking me for granted. Am I wrong? Is this normal Aspie guy behavior? He said that his mind just isn't wired like that. Like what? He can't remember to text me back even after receiving several texts - even if it's just to say "Let me text you back a little later this week since I'm pretty busy right now". I'd be fine with that.

I'm wondering if I should just not text him now, if I should say I don't feel like talking to him now, or if I should bring it up that I am mad at him and the way he's been acting could be considered "selfish" in NT Land. If I bring it up, there's going to be an argument because he'll get defensive. Why can't he see selfishness in himself? What do I do?

Well there's certainly an emotional disconnect happening here. I'd rationally explain to him what you need to make a friendship work for you and if he's not willing to step up then he's not going to step up and you should look elsewhere. Being aloof is one thing, willingly not responding is another. I don't know what's going on in his head, or how severe his life issues truly are to him at the moment, perhaps they are completely overwhelming. That being said, if he can't even give you a text when you're in the hospital, well, he's not worth keeping around. This isn't an autism issue, this is an as*hole issue. Sorry for being blunt, but that's what we autistics do. Good luck and hope he comes around.

As a guy I can't text my way out of a paper bag. Your life does not subscribe to a 160 unicode character limit. Try to remember how different things are in person.

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I think I'm just not going to text for awhile. My problem is I'm too available all the time for everyone and they take me for granted. No reason to say something and just start an argument. I don't think he's going to change. I just need to pull away some and not be as close as a friend because its only seeming to be one way. I don't know if that's just him or if Aspies are like that is the problem. I guess they're all different.