Has anyone had worsening social skills before?

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I graduated high school over a year ago, which of course was a required offline socialization thing, but since then I haven't actually had to socialize with other people so instead I've chosen to stay in my own home and on the internet for most of the past year. Compared to a year ago when I was still in school, my anxiety about being in public has gotten a lot worse. In fact recently when I had to drive to a store by myself to get a last minute present for someone I nearly had a panic attack at the register, and the person there spoke up and asked me if I was alright. I feel like I can't socialize outside of the internet and this is the only place I feel comfortable. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I'm not in the same boat as you, except for having graduated high school last year, but I'd say your deteriorating social skills are the result of not having to practice them. I'm sure you've probably drawn the same conclusion. The only real way I can see you overcoming this is by putting them into practice again. Do you tend not to interact with anyone? Do you live with anyone? I guess my immediate suggestion would be to ease back into your social skills via talking to the cashiers or whoever at shops that you may visit, or maybe getting back in contact with your high school friends.

Oh Wow...I can definitely relate to what your going though I started to withdraw from a great deal of social contact around middle School due to a wide variety of things...,mostly social difficulty,it got so bad I was eventually homeschooled up until graduation though I had great Academic improvement the resulting isolation made it very,very hard to even go anywhere without someone with me.Thankfully though ever since I desired to get out there again I by the grace of God and the kindness of my family and others have enabled me to make considerable progress but it is still quite hard to go anywhere public without some degree of anxiety.It certainly takes an ongoing effort,patience and a willingness to keep at it.It helps to have the help of others too.I'm sorry for the long winded response...,if you would like to talk about anything just give me a pm.

I know the feeling. It only has a minor effect on me but yes it does happen.

I am in high school and usually prolonged periods of time with minimal social interaction (e.g. the school holidays, even the weekend sometimes) result in me having slightly poorer social skills and confidence and overall ANY issue with appearing 'normal' like trying to walk normal like I do or trying to appear normal.

So this means Monday's my social skills are the worst.

I do have my family and friends however they know me much better and I feel much more comfortable and do not feel the need to 'act normal' and put maximum effort into my social skills.

Sometimes with friends I do put more of an effort in though, depending on a lot of things.

Anyway, yeah. Only way to overcome it is to keep exposing yourself to people, which has already been said.

Does anyone else feel it depending on the days of the week?

Monday for me is poor as I try to 'get back into it', Tuesday to Thursday am normal, but sometimes even late Thursday and Friday I will feel too laidback and relaxed to even bother.

Saturday and Sunday same thing, there is no purpose.

I see what your saying,its like you need momentum to get going,I also found that weekends or holidays would act as a sort of rest period for me and I would need time to adjust,after the weekend at least a day or two,after a holiday I would normally need at least 3 or 4 days to stop feeling so dreadfull.Mondays tend to act as an adjusting period and it tends to be the beginning of the school or work week,so people tend to have plenty of reasons to go out,but if you don't it can make you think,"why am I subjecting myself to this for nothing!"and its tempting to isolate.

While I worked a job at a tobacco counter, I could face people easily. After I left that job, I slowly began to panic when ever I had to leave the house. It got worse with time. Similar to walking out of a movie theatre in mid day or coming back after hiking in the wilderness for a week or more. It just takes time and practice.

I have come to accept my awkwardness and gave up trying to act normal. There is one weirdo in every town so I just be this with a smile. Like Leslie Nielsen in the Naked Gun movies. Confused, clumsy, but lovable.

Have you ever thought about medication ? I used to have panic attacks everyday. Since I started taking "magic pills" I haven't had a single one and I must say it's really helped with my social skills in general.

Yes I have. Often. I am always in and out of work. between jobs Ill usually be unemployed. Sometimes for a year, even almost two one time. Its usually one year on one year off. Why is another story no one cares about.

When I start a job, it's very, very difficult for me anxiety-wise. I feel like I've forgotten how to speak to people. It's so hard to meet new people, and I dread the idea of having a whole new group of people that I have to spend so much time around. But eventually I get into the hang of it, forcing myself through the process of discomfort, knowing I have no choice because I have to eat. Now since I have typically worked on the phone, I was automatically given a nicely controlled social situation to get back into the flow of it. People call me, or I them for a specific purpose, thus removing alot of the awkwardness for me. And slowly that spills over into more free-form socialization with my coworkers eventually. Then I quit, get laid off, or my temp assignment ends. Then I go back to my cave. And slowly it erodes back to the point, as you said, that even the supermarket, or any store, is a panic attack waiting to happen. And the cycle starts over.

So the point as far as you are concerned? I'd try a few things. One, consider medication as another poster said. I have found anti-anxiety meds, specifically xanax, to be a lifesaver in those situations. It is not for everyone. Some people hate the feeling. Others get way to sleepy. It's also a risky drug because it does carry the distinct possibility of abuse. If you are substance addiction prone, it may be better to try another route.

Either way, I'd certainly try to find some social setting where you can try to get out of your shell again. Whatever strong interests you have, as there must be some, find a local gathering of like-minded people where you share a common interest and the socialization is not so overwhelming and/or confusing. I've always found purpose-based interactions easier. Even just going outside and doing your own thing if that's too intense. If you have a park near you where people exercise, walk dogs, etc, go for a walk there. You don't have to talk with anyone. But even just being around strangers, even without interaction, can maybe slowly raise your comfort level.

Also setting your mind right as best you can can help. Remind yourself you've been socially capable in the past. Remember a time or times you felt most socially brave. You are the same person. Remind yourself of that. When your mind says "blahblahblah-- panic-- anxiety- discomfort-- must escape" you answer with those times. Also remind yourself that no one else is any more important than you. You are just as vaild, just as important, and have the right to be and speak as much as anyone else you see. I know this is not easy. It takes alot of work and is still hard. But it's worth it, and more importantly, most likely a necessity if you aspire to have a fully functional adult life. You must work, you must pay bills, and in the course of doing so you must interact.

There is nothing to be scared of other than the fact your mind has manufactured fear. Very, very believable fear, true, but it's still in your mind, and you do not need to be enslaved by your mind. The enemy of your discouraging mind is logic. Stick to logic. People talk all the time. People even NT people, struggle with social interactions at times, what to say, how to say it, they just arent as prone to getting into shutdown mode about it. What is the worst that can happen? you say something awkward? You maybe offend someone? I mean, in the vast, vast majority of cases someone is not going to come hunt you down for an awkward exchange. Again, the fear has built up, but logic says, no, the range of negative outcomes is narrow and more or less inconsequential. And YOUVE DONE IT, if youve done it once, twice, you can do it again.

The fear is in your mind. You can transcend it.

The good news is, most people, N.T or aspie dislike mondays or coming back to school/work after a long break.

I like to pretend my difficulty adjusting back to the 'real world' is simply attributed to 'monday-fever' or 'first-day back fever' (after holidays/time away) or just fake/exaggerate tiredness to appear more 'out of it'.

At least you can hide behind a reasonable excuse for it.

Recommend to find some hobby that lets you social with people, without it being to stressful. I recommend sport. In my case i like kickboxing, cause then i usually have to be social with people. And we're not doing full contact, so it's not too stressful. And ofcause there's many options in addition to sport.

And ofcause continue being social on the internet Many people aren't even able to do that.

Hey, sorry to hear you're going through hard time socializing lately Yes I know exactly what you mean.

I've always forced myself to do social things growing up, actually had a fairly normal social life growing up for that reason, but lately I've been isolating a lot and as a result it's getting harder and harder to interact with people. I went from having multiple close friends and going out almost every night to having zero friends and zero tolerance for being out in public.

If your anxiety has got you stuck as bad as it does me, then you could talk to your doctor. He might be willing to prescribe an anxiety med (benzodiazepine) to help get you out of the house. I've taking a few different one's before and they all helped tremendously, just have to be careful to take "off" day's where you don't take any medicine, otherwise a tolerance will build up and your anxiety will get even worse.

I'm at the point where I'm flirting with agoraphobia and leaving the house to go anywhere makes me insanely uncomfortable and almost always sends me into a panic attack. I'm going to the doctor soon too, before my entire life passes me by.

I am in the same boat as the OP too, however I am much further along being 35 years old.

I can tell you from experience, it gets worse, doing that. I have no friends, no one to help me or be there for me and at this point I don't have any clue really how to make friends or get working relationship with a woman. Not to mention being a child of the 90s I am really out of touch with trends and current social fields. Part of why I'd found forums like this, so maybe I can find help.

The loneliness builds and builds, the mind never quiets, because of the anxiety that gets ever louder and stronger. Let me be candid with you, as the years go on in isolation like this, it feels like something has got to give, either my sanity will go from the loneliness or I'll end up one of these days killing myself if I don't figure something out, I don't get help or make some friends.

Im sorry to be so straight forward, but you guys who are young, really should make a effort when your young and your generation is still prevalent to keep those social skills up, you don't want to end up like me. Its a nightmare, the only way I'd found to push back the ever growing anxiety is through meditation, but even its effects aren't ever lasting.

Dam bro that is really fukking depressing, no offense or anything. I know you're just trying to be real with us, but it's hard for me to think that I'm gonna be like this 8 years down the road. I'm 27 now, one year ago I was content, had a job, had my own place, had handful of friends and a social life, had a few women...things were alright IMO...fastforward a little over a year later and can't say I have any of that anymore....it's amazing how fast everything can change.

That's why I really want to start taking steps to getting groups of us together because this isolation is depressing and I think 90% or more probably isolate more then they would like to. I think it'd be cool for us to start having meetup groups because we would know that we don't have to worry about being judged for being different and we could engage with others in healthier ways than VIA the internet.

I hope you don't kill yourself man, I do think something will give soon. I don't know what I mean by that but I just think things will be getting better for us on the spectrum in the foreseeable furture...

Yeah, sorry man for being so depressing but It had to be said, because i see some of you guys and its exactly like me, and you had to know it does just get worse being in isolation like that. When I was younger, like college I too had some real life friends, they came and gone but i could always get more, I had some women too. Within my generation, i was not bullied, and a fairly normal guy aside from the autism stuff, but once things start changing it goes downhill fast, especially when a younger generation your so out of touch with starts trend setting. I have no clue how to interact with some of these 20 something these days. My last girlfriend was 63, because she was the only one i'd met in years I'd have any sort of common ground and understanding with.

I dont know man, maybe I waited too long. I let myself get distracted with online stuff so i didnt have to face all this, but I can tell you this is where it leads to, Isolation and lack of friends is terrible.

I think its a good idea if some of us come together and maybe strike up some kind of friendship and support group. Its helped some coming here and finally meeting people who intimately understand what going through all this is like. Most people I met seem to think its just something medicine will cure away or its just as simple as going up to people and saying "Hi" and those things will solve all the problems. But its not and you guys understand that.

I don't want to kill myself, I fight those feelings every time things get bad for me, but i know if I dont find help for all this, I wont be able to fight it forever, so Im really hoping I can find some friends here, or resources to get some help.

Just whatever goes down, I wanted to share my experience with you guys so you know what happens if things go on like that for years.

yes it might be a problem when you get older. When I meet my old schoolmates they usually have many kids, a wife, a house on the contrary to me. So I stopped to search and meeting them intentionally. I dont like facebook and twitter I rather tried to hide behind fake emails and pictures so that they couldnot find me.
I have the same old car which I bought 15 years ago (at University), the same lease of a small flat... its hard to attract beautiful woman with this. People in the workplace dont care about you, they tend to look at you suspiciously. I stopped trying to find a girlfriend because every other was even greater disaster. Now I am living relatively calm live without any issues but I think quite often (every day) about future and I dont feel good about it. I am still hoping in a miracle such as winning a jackpot in a lottery but as I am getting older I can see that I can expect more difficulties and issues. I dont know what job I could do at 50 when I have difficulties at present. And without job I will not have money for living...

Oh man, tell me about it. I can't go on twitter or facebook at all because of that stuff. I learned it the hard way, seeing the guys from my social circle with their wives, kids and those photos, i mean we were all nerds but i was the only autistic among them. Im happy for them but its so depressing I dont have much to show for it.

The event that made me finally stop with Facebook was my little buddy, he was short, had acme, thick glasses, ultra nerdy, cerberbal paisy, and I looked after him. He hasnt really changed much from that, but even he has this really cute wife and a great job, and Im happy for him, but that really got me down. That even the kid from my Class of 99 that pretty much no one thought would get much out of life actually did really good for himself and I can't get anything going, that really killed me, and was a difficult one to not kill myself over.

Yeah, for you young guys with these things, definitely don't go near Facebook. It makes things much, much worse.