Taking responsibility for other people's actions

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Pergerlady
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 9 Jan 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 138
Location: Turnersville, NJ, USA

11 Jan 2016, 10:09 am

Does anyone else do this? For example, if someone bumps into you, or if something in a group project goes wrong due to the inaction of another person, you apologize and take the responsibility. For me, this has been a learned behavior: I noticed that people get hostile if you call out their mistakes, and they seem to like it if you apologize for your actions, and I'm trying to work on this now. I've been trying to not see myself as the bad guy all the time.



AgusCahyo
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 1 Jul 2015
Posts: 139

11 Jan 2016, 6:18 pm

I did that.

There are 2 schools of thought.

1. Is total responsibility. You should take responsibility of anything that happen to you. Someone pickpocket your wallet. You should blame yourself for not guarding it.
2. Blame others for their choices especially if the choices are deliberate, and motivated. Then perform harsh measures against those you blame.

They both are reconcilable.

If crime rate is high in a city. What should the governor do? From 1st point of view, he should choose to reduce crime. How to do so? By blaming the criminals and punish them (2nd points of view).

Problems arise when you only take one points of view.

For example,

Crime rate is high. It is our responsibility. So instead of blaming criminals and punish them, you try to be even nicer to the criminals, providing jobs etc. That's too "responsible".

Or you can just blame criminals. Crime rate is high. How to fix it? Nothing. It's criminals' fault.

Sometimes, for motivational acts that cost you money, the correct act is to retaliate harshly. You can fire persons that hurt you, cut off relationship, and in extreme cases, hurt his reputation or get him to jail. The harsher the method the more you should avoid it.