How do I bring out the social side of me?

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Occasionally my social problems seem to disappear. I can actually enjoy conversations and I don't get drained or bored. I notice I also act way differently than I normally do. How can I be like this more often? I also notice this happens when I'm away from my family.

i am very much the same

I am much like the same. This happens when I fully trust people and feel that they accept me as I am.

I generally don't avoid social situations for that reason, especially with my colleagues, who are all NT. I wish I had this when I was much younger. I would reach the "optimal outcome" earlier (being a second Raun Kaufman).

I just... kept doing it. Again, and again, and again. I spent a few years where I would deliberately put myself in as many situations as possible where I would have to be social. I'd engage with people even when I didn't want to, and keep going even if I really wanted to stop. I'd get small talk doing with people when it got quiet. After a while I stopped minding when people wanted to have a conversation. Then I liked it. Then I got to the point where I initiate conversations with others and am often genuinely interested in what they have to say.

That's an extremely simplistic approach and extremely stressful at first. It feels like throwing yourself against a wall for a while. Still, it worked very well for me, so that's the advice I can give from experience.